[whisperingskye]

I don't know how I'm meant to keep going.

I can tell myself until I'm blue in the face that I have to keep breathing. I can't give up. Not yet.

But in the heat of the moment it is seriously difficult to keep on fighting. And I'm stuck like this because I can't actually tell anyone how bad this is getting. How bad it has got.

Earlier I was ready to just not go home and do something "silly". I'm still in two minds about that now. But I have to tell myself no, now is not the time.

But how long can I manage like this?

And I know you will say "talk to a professional" "talk to family" but right now neither are an option for me. So where does that leave me?

[Skeezyks]

Hello skye: Well... in al honesty... I don't know. I do have some idea of how you feel. I don't have anyone I can talk to either. In my case, a lot of the time it doesn't really matter to me. But from time-to-time it feels very lonely. Perhaps that's part of the reason I spend so much time here on PC. Maybe that's the alternative for you too. Just keep posting & possibly participate in some of the chat rooms if that's of interest. Personally I don't chat. So I don't know if that can be of help.

[unaluna]

I look forward to going to bed, and then to breakfast. Oh well!

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

But how long can I manage like this?

You've been walking in the land of depression for at least a dozen years, yes? I have no idea how long you or anyone can manage, but I know the basic human will-to-survive is powerful.

Sorry to fall back on a default question - how's your sleep?

[whisperingskye]

At least a dozen, yeah.

And sleep, sleep is hard to come by. I probably average around 3-4 hours a night.

[Rohag]

In my case, I received an insomnia diagnosis before depression (I think; it's been a number of years). The two are intertwined. All I can say is that everything is worse with minimal or unrefreshing sleep. I have no psychic energy to deal with depression when my sleep is messy.

Wishing you more and/or better quality sleep...

[wiretwister]

I use tricks on myself ... it works for me ... my fav is my blueberry muffin and coffee treat in the morning ... when I am laying in bed ... I tell myself to think of my am treat and it helps ... when the morning stress comes I tease myself about lunch ... I know it sounds silly ... but by limiting my futures to just a few hours seems to make them easier ... I never want to know what tomorrow brings and have trouble sleeping if I know ... by living for the just now ... I survive ... I try to forget what has been ... it doesn't work all the time but when it does ... the day is past ... it doesn't really answer your question ... not directly ... it is just a game that makes my life go on ... and helps me from thinking about the day after day .... Tigger.