[Zebra821]

I have never had a full time job for more than 6 months. I always start out positive (at my core I am an optimist) and I tell myself it'll be different this time. Then about two months in I start to dread it. Start to feel depressed and urges to self harm and intrusive thoughts (also suffer from OCD) about suicide. I am safe and not actively pursuing the venture, but it's eeking into my every day life. I no longer enjoy anything, when I come home I don't feel excited to relax, I just... exist. I have chronic kidney disease and am curious if I can get on disability if that will be enough to sustain me.
My boyfriend and I are moving next month to a new house. We can't afford for me to quit my job. I need to have an income of at least 2,000$ a month to afford living in the new house. If I had another way to make that much from home I would do it in a second. I'm chronically tired, in pain, sick, and occasionally mentally unstable. I feel stuck.

[MickeyCheeky]

Depression can make you feel that way, it sucks.. are you diagnosed with it?

Either way, I understand how you feel. I'm sorry

There is no shame in only working part time or going on disability if needed. That being said, most part-time jobs won't pay $2000 a month, nor will disability as far as I'm aware.

Focus on your health first. If having to earn $2000 a month is too much for you to handle, consider moving to a cheaper place. I wish you the best of luck!

[Fuzzybear]