My dad had a heart attack this morning...

I hope everything went well with the ride, and with bringing your dad home.

My brother backed out. My aunt is coming instead. i really don't care for her, but it's a ride. I'm really pissed at my brother, and my mom too for being drunk and not there for me at all. I feel like I'm the only one who cares that my dad almost died. I've decided that my brother cannot be in my life until he gets over himself.

I'm glad that you are able to get a ride and I'm sure your father would appreciate it, too. So sorry to hear about you not being crazy about your Aunt and more so about your brother backing out.

I think that you are a very strong, compassionate, and dedicated person to be there for your father. Especially with the way things have been going with your parents before his heart attack. And with the other issues you had. I think that many others could use you as an example on how compassionate and strong someone should be.

I've only just now read this, but thank you so much. It really means a lot to me that you say these things. I am not often acknowledged for what I've been through as "everyone has a backstory" (to quote my mom - who I'm not too thrilled with either, but I won't go into all that).

My dad went back to the hospital this morning for chest pains. It was not another heart attack, thank goodness, but they are still yet to figure out what caused it. He is okay though, not in any pain now. My mom is out with a neighborhood friend buying groceries, since she herself can't drive and neither can I. Unfortunately, she will probably ask this friend to take her to the liquor store, which she promised my dad and I not to do again. So, if my dad calls again later and she answers drunk, I'll have to explain. And that will stress my dad out even more, which he does not need. I hate to say it, but I have a lot of hard feelings for her right now that I don't think I will ever fully get over.

Well, if you do not get over your feelings about her, it is your mom's fault. I would be really angry. I do not know why she drinks and how sick she is. I have not being an alcoholic and I don't know what that means. My dad was a child of an alcoholic and he always resented that. That why he was so devoted although he did not do a good job with my brother. My father spoiled my brother. In any event, my father always told me stories about his pain for the irresponsibility of his own father and how he suffered from that. And I don't blame my father for his feelings, the same about you.
You did a great job and hope you can keep strong.i wish a fast recovery for your dad.
Sending you a big hug

Thank you so much for validating my feelings, Clara. On the one hand I feel guilty for being resentful toward my mother for her actions, because she has cancer and has been ill her entire life. She is very small and frail, and I have watched her health deteriorate so much in even just the last three years. But she has a tendency of making a point out of her sickness, if that makes sense... like she wants to be felt sorry for, but maybe not quite that extreme. She has been through a lot in life like me, but she sort of looks at it as her identity. Though she rarely complains, for her it is all about struggle, woe, and sickness.

My dad has not drank a drop since last Friday when he had his heart attack, though he still continues to smoke quite a bit, which worries me. My mom, on the other hand, could do nothing but drink while he was in the hospital the first time. One day she spent the entire day sleeping off a hangover. If I had not been here, there wouldn't have even been anyone to answer his calls. Not to mention the stress it put on him when she was awake and would answer him drunk. Stress for a person who has just suffered heart failure is VERY bad.

In the end, I was the one who tried to arrange him a ride home from the hospital, because my mom was too out of it even to function. This was when my older brother showed his... less than good parts, and left me scrambling to find another ride at the last minute when we know pretty much nobody who can drive, or would be willing to. In the end my dad had to call my 83-year-old grandpa who should not even be driving in the first place, let alone out of town. Thankfully, he (my grandpa) was able to get a neighbor and friend of his behind the wheel. That is also how he got home today. My mother did drink some beer while he was gone, but thankfully she doesn't get nearly as wasted on beer as she can on even a half pint of whiskey (due to her small size).

I am hoping and praying my dad recovers. I am hoping he will at least consider quitting smoking the way he has quit drinking. He had to go back this morning for chest pains after he has been smoking everyday since he got back home Monday evening. He was released again this evening. I actually think they released him too soon, and that they should have given him nicotine patches, even if he didn't ask for them. I want to talk to him about it, but I also cannot stress him out. He went to bed a while ago not feeling very good.

Wow, Querty Cat. You are going through a lot at your young age. Yet I am proud of you, and understand your feelings about your mom. I hope you can put together all your feelings, and see you are a good young person above all (because you are) so they ( your feelings) don't cause you too much pain. We don't manage our feelings. They just happen to us.
Perhaps the best service you can do to your mom is taking care of your dad. I bet she would like to be more useful. Maybe she feels guilty, too.
I wish the best for you

Querty Cat, sorry to hear this. I hope your dad's condition will improve.

How is your dad doing? How are you?

He seems to be better than yesterday, though he's pretty tired.

I'm just trying to do something with all this residual anxiety from the past week. Yes - today makes a week

I am happy is at home. Good luck with everything

Thank you. I really appreciate your supportive comments on this thread. I've been helping my mom with little things while my dad recuperates - folding laundry, picking up here and there. He had to drive to the pharmacy this afternoon to pick up his water pills for the remaining fluid around his heart. He is feeling a lot better than yesterday, just not back to himself yet.