[Aardwolf]

We'll take it all...

The definition of a crisis, as far as i can make out, is as follows: (Borrowed from the MIND UK website) I have paraphrased to one important point.

..when you feel your mental health is at breaking point...

The problem I have. I don't know where that line is. It's not like I've had much of a roller-coaster ride either. It feels like this has been a slow, steady build up over a considerable amount of time.
The issues have been compounded by other issues, and the final.. well, i don't know what the final is.. This is what stumps me for creating a crisis plan. I have no idea where the goalposts are.

The wording confuses me. I don't feel like I've ever been in a crisis. Everything is calculated, cold, thoughtful.

I don't know what the tipping point is, as despite the fact that in the past I have attempted the unthinkable, and somehow come out of it in one piece (Physically anyway). I don't actually seem to have a map, or a table, that tells me exactly what point is going to break me, or when, and how it's going to happen.

So on and on I go, getting more dangerous, but slowly. It's like I don't even notice it, then one day I'm suddenly staring out over an abyss of nothing. Feeling consumed and eaten away by this disease. Until there's nothing left.

Now. Now I feel like I'm gently lowering myself into the abyss. Not jumping, not flinging, or conversely being flung by what's going on in my mind.

I don't understand how I can operate this way. I don't know how until this point I've been "fine". How I've "coped" or how I've functioned remarkably well in a day to day capacity and passed off as "normal".

Why don't I know where the point is. It seems that when it does come, it comes out of nowhere, but at the same time I feel like I was expecting it, BUT I wasn't expecting it !?

What am I... Am I so hate-able that even my mind has decided to stop telling me important information like this and just lets me "get on" with it. Is it why I was "under the radar" for so long when it comes to this.

I don't know any more.

I wish this disease would let me go, or just help me let go. I'm fine with either now. It scares me more thinking what will happen if i have to carry on.

[subtle lights]

I can immensely relate to this. Though I do experience more small rollercoasters, but those are all part of a bigger picture, a downward spiral I've been on for some time. I've noticed people talking about crisis, stories of people reaching the "crisis point". While I'm slowly breaking apart inside in front of observing eyes, I even talk about what I feel inside and still it seems that the only reaction is my own echo.
Maybe I do think for a moment that I'm in crisis, while feeling the torture of drowning inside, but there is no water to prove it. I eventually stop crying. I eventually stop my suicidal fantasies. I eventually do get out of the bed. At one point, every time.
I have been "functional" up until now. What people reflect back to me is that I still am. I can't work or think though. But I can pretend somewhat still, I don't even get it
I'm being dragged around in life through my reflection in others' perceptions. Am I not allowed to be in crisis or am I still "strong" enough?

Someone said that the "rock bottom" is an illusory concept. So maybe I'm too stubborn to evoke it while some aren't...

[Aardwolf]

Honestly I don't even know why i wrote what I did. It was the ramblings of my mind at the time..

Maybe it makes sense to someone.

Sure as hell doesn't make sense to me.

[Fuzzybear]

I asked a similar question (about the "definition" ) a while back (but deleted it )

Thanks for this post

[Rizzar]

2. a sudden paroxysmal intensification of symptoms in the course of a disease. Crisis | definition of crisis by Medical dictionary

The Psychology of a Crisis - How Knowing This Helps Communication

[subtle lights]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

Honestly I don't even know why i wrote what I did. It was the ramblings of my mind at the time..

Maybe it makes sense to someone.

Sure as hell doesn't make sense to me.

So I guess what I've written doesn't make sense to you either. Sorry about that...

[Aardwolf]

Subtle lights - Yes it does make sense - Sorry I was in a different world yesterday.. It wasn't this one by any stretch..

[subtle lights]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

Subtle lights - Yes it does make sense - Sorry I was in a different world yesterday.. It wasn't this one by any stretch..

Thanks And sorry, I was in super-sensitive mode...

[RainyDay107]

If you're talking about suicide, my pdoc says it's crisis if you've gotten to the point where you have a plan. Stay safe.

PS: My pdoc also thinks IP is needed if a person is severely having problems with daily functioning like no hygiene, can't go shop for food, handle finances, extreme stress, etc.