[withoutaplan]

So..don't really know where to start here.

I'm almost 30, I've dealt with feelings of depression since my early teens, off and on. Not usually too bad but it has gotten to the point of suicidal thoughts and even one attempt a few years ago, and the thoughts are starting to creep their way back in.

I don't have many friends to speak of as I'm not overly outgoing, so my social life is pretty stagnant.

I wouldn't say that I suffer from any extreme self esteem issues, I consider myself fairly intelligent, funny, decent looking etc. but I would say I have a hard time connecting with people

My main issue right now is just an extreme lack of motivation. I know that there's more I could be doing with my life, and I know how to achieve it, I know what I could be doing, or should be doing but I just...don't.

Most times I come home from work and instead of looking into schooling or advancing my life I just watch tv or play video games (which I play way too much, I may have an addiction.)

The thing is I want to be successful, financially, socially, and in my relationships, but when it comes time to do something about it I just get lazy. I will have short bursts of motivation, and then nothing.

I guess I'm just wondering is this a side effect of long term depression, is it just laziness? Is there any helping it?

Some other things to know that might give some insight: My parents got divorced when I was young, 10 or so, and my brother is serving

Possible trigger:

a life sentence for 2 counts of 1st degree murder,

which happened about 5 years ago.

[Skeezyks]

Hello withoutaplan: I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I'm not a mental health professional. So I certainly cannot diagnose you. But from what you wrote, I would say it's likely the difficulty you are having is as a result of depression. Depression, along with anxiety, is something I struggled with over the years & I know I spent many years "not doing" the same sorts of things you're not doing.

I do think it would be worthwhile for you to look into some individual therapy as a way of beginning to sort through the difficult experiences you've had & how they may be affecting you now. It can sometimes take a while to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. But if you can find one, you may find talking your experiences through with that person most helpful. At least it would certainly be worth a try.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by withoutaplan

So..don't really know where to start here.

I'm almost 30, I've dealt with feelings of depression since my early teens, off and on. Not usually too bad but it has gotten to the point of suicidal thoughts and even one attempt a few years ago, and the thoughts are starting to creep their way back in.

I don't have many friends to speak of as I'm not overly outgoing, so my social life is pretty stagnant.

I wouldn't say that I suffer from any extreme self esteem issues, I consider myself fairly intelligent, funny, decent looking etc. but I would say I have a hard time connecting with people

My main issue right now is just an extreme lack of motivation. I know that there's more I could be doing with my life, and I know how to achieve it, I know what I could be doing, or should be doing but I just...don't.

Most times I come home from work and instead of looking into schooling or advancing my life I just watch tv or play video games (which I play way too much, I may have an addiction.)

The thing is I want to be successful, financially, socially, and in my relationships, but when it comes time to do something about it I just get lazy. I will have short bursts of motivation, and then nothing.

I guess I'm just wondering is this a side effect of long term depression, is it just laziness? Is there any helping it?

Some other things to know that might give some insight: My parents got divorced when I was young, 10 or so, and my brother is serving

Possible trigger:

a life sentence for 2 counts of 1st degree murder,

which happened about 5 years ago.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Lack of motivation is a problem for me as well. Can you talk to your therapist or pdoc about it?

[withoutaplan]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello withoutaplan: I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I'm not a mental health professional. So I certainly cannot diagnose you. But from what you wrote, I would say it's likely the difficulty you are having is as a result of depression. Depression, along with anxiety, is something I struggled with over the years & I know I spent many years "not doing" the same sorts of things you're not doing.

I do think it would be worthwhile for you to look into some individual therapy as a way of beginning to sort through the difficult experiences you've had & how they may be affecting you now. It can sometimes take a while to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. But if you can find one, you may find talking your experiences through with that person most helpful. At least it would certainly be worth a try.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

Thank you for the welcome, I've been playing with the idea of seeking a personal therapist for some time, the biggest problem there is money, I don't have anything saved up so it will be hard but I have to do something, soon. I am happy that I happened across this site though, been reading around and it feels like people here really care.

[withoutaplan]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Lack of motivation is a problem for me as well. Can you talk to your therapist or pdoc about it?

Unfortunately I don't have a doctor or therapist yet, not a lot of funds and no insurance.