Are my problems even legitimate?

Even though over the past year I have come to accept I have some for of depression I still feel like my problems aren't as bad as they seem to me. Multiple people around me seem to have it worse than I do yet I seem to find it almost crippling at times. I haven't takes about it with anyone for this exact reason. I don't want them to judge me for being so emotionless weak , so I try my best to help them . Even just typing this makes me feel like a moped complaining child.

Your problems are legitimate. You mentioned that sometimes it is crippling for you. If you do have some type of depression (which would need to be diagnosed by a professional) that does not make you emotionally weak. I'm glad you posted. You'll find lots of support here. Is there a doctor you could reach out to to see what's going on? Best wishes.

My mom tried looking a few months back because my parents think I have add and she said there aren't any that I could see without waiting like half a year

Could your primary care doctor help out until you can get in with a pdoc?

Idk, and that would also mean explaining to my mom my problem which I don't think would end well.

Would you have to explain ,would she not just accept that you need to see the dr without question s? Or could you perhaps invent a minor physical issue if you feel that strongly about not telling her .x

If your problems cause you pain, then they are "legitimate"

No matter how awful your problems are, you can always find someone worse off than you. That doesn't mean your problems don't matter. Sometimes I wonder, how can I even consider myself to have a problem when all my basic needs are met but there are people starving and on the streets? But that isn't the point. Your problems matter and you don't have to compare them to other people's problems.

I wrestle with that myself. Life is OK for me as of now. My basic needs are met and there are no crisis going on. What more should I ask for or why should I feel bad? I know that others have it worse, but being told that does not make me feel better. And I feel that what gets me down is very significant for me.

It's a surprise that someone else would say to me, "thank God I am not in your shoes". And I thought that they have had it really bad.

Things are alright for me now. But lots of times I worry that the rug will be pulled out from me. I thank the Lord a whole lot for making my life great and I know that I have some improvements that I want to see.

So I feel that your problems are legitimate.

I'm in the same boat. So let me say beyond the shadow of a doubt yes your problems are legitimate. Saying they're not because you don't have it as bad as others is like telling someone who just broke their leg "Toughen up it's not like you have cancer." What moron would say that? (Btw I am not calling you a moron please don't think I am.) So why is it we try to delegitimize our problems because they aren't as bad as someone else's? Your problems and struggles are real. Don't let anyone ever tell you different.

My mom thinks people who are depressed are just sad and have nothing to complain about and she thinks people who self harm or try to kill them self are going through a " crazy teenage phase ". Also we don't have much money to waste on things like going to hospitals and such so if I said I had a problem she would try to fix it at home (she's a nurse)

Ok so I guess my "crazy teenage" phase has lasted me another 15+ years? Smdh
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. If you need to talk I'm here and there are others here willing to listen.

This is how I measure pain:

If it hurts, it is "worthy" of being addressed and fixed.
There is no pain lesser or greater than another. Pain is pain.

How do you measure the pain felt of a teenager breaking up with their first boyfriend/girlfriend to know if it is lesser, the same, or greater than the woman who just watched her son take his last breath, for example? You can't. Most will assume the teen's problem is lesser - yet, there are many teens who either attempt or succeed at suicide for that reason, while the mother, though very distraught and bereaved may have had enough time to "prepare" for this possible eventuality that it doesn't send her into such a downward spiral.

So .. you ask are your problems valid.

My answer is all problems are valid - if they cause you pain.

❤

If anyone judges you for asking for help to fix your pain - that's on them, not you. I won't feed you fancy lines of "that's because they are afraid to ask for help" or etc - bc for some, it may not be true. But it will always be true they chose to judge and/or belittle you for asking for help. It will also always be true you neither did nor said anything to cause them to make that decision. The point is - you can only control you. They can only control them. If you try to control them it will lead to fustration, anger, disappointment, depression, and a whole host of other negative emotions in the long run - bc while you may succeed at controlling them sometimes, you will not do so all the time. So - concentrate on what you can control all the time - you, and don't allow the decisions of others to deter your own.