[wickedwings]

i don't pity myself, but i'm drowning in my own tears - tears that won't flow onto my own cheeks.... i feel like a freak because nothing works to get me out of this black hole that sucks my own life away and disconnects me from everything. i reach out, but can't touch even though i touch. my house is a disaster, for i have no energy to maintain it. the world is so full of pain and thorns, harsh and brutal. i want to champion my own life, and i can't even do anything. i feel so guilty that i'm still here because my illness makes life harder for everyone around me. i suffer so much, i wish i can heal and help others heal. i'm a freak who feels nothing but pain and sadness. humans don't feel this all the time. true humans feel a wide range of things that makes life true life. i keep surrendering myself, but i continue to suffer. what did i do to deserve this punishment? i cry all over the internet. nothing helps. therapy is helpful in everything, except for my depression. someday, someone is going to get so tired of me and wish i was dead. i cannot keep on like this - draining everything because people only have so much. i'm not a needful person. i only need healing - right treatment. what do i have to do? beg? it's stupid.

[bellestar]

OK, what does your T say about the depression? Mine was helped with a mood stabilizer but as far as being able to address it without meds....I had to convince myself that I was WORTH the time it takes to crawl out of the hole. My T kept saying I expected too much out of myself, too quickly.

I also am addicted to the internet so I have to make myself GET UP and do other things.....even if they aren't fun. I love my PC but using it in place of doing exercise, therapy, house stuff that is doable is not good for me. belle

[kebsfroggy]

Don't have any answers. As far as dragging me down, you can't. I'm already on the bottom. At least, I think I'm on the bottom. I say that and find out you can go lower. bummer.

Wish they had a majic pill. I would be first in line.

I don't know how to crawl out of the hole but if I can help let me know.

[stefano]

Don't feel guilty. It is wrong. I don't feel guilty, but I feel DOOMED.
Don't know, I'm not OK... Hold on Wings

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( wickedwings ))))))))))))))

[Kendyll]

Hugsssss!!!!

[wickedwings]

wish my wings would work..... funny, huh? trying to use humor to lift up my mood. but, humor is so superficial for depression.