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  #1  
Old May 28, 2017, 03:25 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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. . . . . .
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"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

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  #2  
Old May 28, 2017, 03:30 PM
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What's wrong?? 😖(((Hugs)))
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Old May 28, 2017, 03:32 PM
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whisperingskye whisperingskye is offline
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I wish there was something I could say that would make this better for you. I am keeping you in my thoughts.

((((((Qwerty cat)))))))
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Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Failure.
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  #4  
Old May 28, 2017, 03:42 PM
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  #5  
Old May 28, 2017, 03:52 PM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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sadhug I'm sorry. What's wrong?
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  #6  
Old May 28, 2017, 04:29 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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Those asking me what's wrong... My dad died
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"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

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  #7  
Old May 28, 2017, 05:02 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Qwerty: you need some support and I'm not sure you'll get it from your alcoholic mother. Do you have a therapist or could you find a grief counselor to help you with you grief?
  #8  
Old May 28, 2017, 05:19 PM
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elevatedsoul elevatedsoul is offline
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the pain you must feel....

im sorry it must be surreal...

wishing something i could do...

something to help calm and soothe you...

inside of us we feel the pain....

it hurts in more places than just the brain...

crying waiting sitting outside in the rain...

tears leaking scars reminding us of once blood stains...

healing is painful in many ways...

sometimes wishing we were dead many days...

pushing onward we must face all the aches...

even swimming in blood filled lakes...

remembering those who brought us this far...

their memories strength giving us a guiding star...

always remembering who they are...

their guidance will never be very far...
im sorry... im sorry...
he will never be very far from you...

my beliefs are very mixed up... but one core belief i have is that within the universe no energy is ever lost... so as one passes on, energy is just moved over... to where?
i've yet to figure it out...

warm embraces... stay safe... know he is not far... the universe is not as big as they want us to believe in my opinion...
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Help me.
Thanks for this!
Qwerty Cat
  #9  
Old May 28, 2017, 05:32 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
Qwerty: you need some support and I'm not sure you'll get it from your alcoholic mother. Do you have a therapist or could you find a grief counselor to help you with you grief?
I have no one except for a friend who lives out of state. I can't get a therapist right now, not with everything else that's going on. Talking never helped me anyway. but thank you.
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"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

INSCRIPTION ON SYLVIA PLATH'S HEADSTONE
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  #10  
Old May 28, 2017, 05:34 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
the pain you must feel....

im sorry it must be surreal...

wishing something i could do...

something to help calm and soothe you...

inside of us we feel the pain....

it hurts in more places than just the brain...

crying waiting sitting outside in the rain...

tears leaking scars reminding us of once blood stains...

healing is painful in many ways...

sometimes wishing we were dead many days...

pushing onward we must face all the aches...

even swimming in blood filled lakes...

remembering those who brought us this far...

their memories strength giving us a guiding star...

always remembering who they are...

their guidance will never be very far...
im sorry... im sorry...
he will never be very far from you...

my beliefs are very mixed up... but one core belief i have is that within the universe no energy is ever lost... so as one passes on, energy is just moved over... to where?
i've yet to figure it out...

warm embraces... stay safe... know he is not far... the universe is not as big as they want us to believe in my opinion...
__________________
"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

INSCRIPTION ON SYLVIA PLATH'S HEADSTONE
  #11  
Old May 28, 2017, 05:52 PM
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QueenCopper QueenCopper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerty Cat View Post
Those asking me what's wrong... My dad died
Oh Qwerty Cat I am sorry. Help me.
  #12  
Old May 28, 2017, 06:25 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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Queen, I noticed we both live in Indiana.

I am just so numb. Then I cry like hell. Then I'm numb again.

It's storming here...
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"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

INSCRIPTION ON SYLVIA PLATH'S HEADSTONE
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Thanks for this!
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  #13  
Old May 29, 2017, 12:30 PM
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mctone mctone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerty Cat View Post
I am just so numb. Then I cry like hell. Then I'm numb again.
Just cry into my soul, onto my shoulder, into my heart... I'll hold you while you let it all out... Just let your tears mingle with mine... I feel what you feel
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  #14  
Old May 29, 2017, 01:28 PM
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subtle lights subtle lights is offline
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((((Qwerty cat))))


Sometimes there is no place for words...only tears and that is okay because it's real...
  #15  
Old May 29, 2017, 01:34 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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" when the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the Suns love
In the spring will
Become the Rose. "

Lyrics from The Rose.

You are the seed beneath the winter snow but you will bloom when winter is over
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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #16  
Old May 29, 2017, 02:35 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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Thank you everybody... It's rough...
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"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

INSCRIPTION ON SYLVIA PLATH'S HEADSTONE
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  #17  
Old May 29, 2017, 05:53 PM
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QueenCopper QueenCopper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerty Cat View Post
Queen, I noticed we both live in Indiana.

I am just so numb. Then I cry like hell. Then I'm numb again.

It's storming here...
Yes, I do live in, Indiana.

I am available if need to pm me. (((Hugs)))
Thanks for this!
Qwerty Cat
  #18  
Old May 29, 2017, 09:56 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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And the good are all dying young.

They try to assure, say the music still lives on

but the music is soulless if the souls that made it are all gone.


Something I wrote today after burning a CD of songs for my dad's funeral. Please don't use it.
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"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

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  #19  
Old May 29, 2017, 10:54 PM
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DelusionsDaily DelusionsDaily is offline
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QWERTY...can you contact nearby hospice agencies? They may be able to help you with free or extremely low cost grief counseling even if your father wasn't in hospice. It would probably be short term but it might be enough to get through the shock and overwhelming emotional waves that can come early on in loss. Just an idea. In the meantime, keep posting here for support.
Thanks for this!
Qwerty Cat
  #20  
Old May 29, 2017, 11:00 PM
Mackie51 Mackie51 is offline
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: Perth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerty Cat View Post
And the good are all dying young.

They try to assure, say the music still lives on

but the music is soulless if the souls that made it are all gone.


Something I wrote today after burning a CD of songs for my dad's funeral. Please don't use it.
That's really beautiful, Qwerty Cat. But what about the souls that hear it? I think we carry the music forward in our hearts, don't we?
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  #21  
Old May 29, 2017, 11:01 PM
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Raindropvampire Raindropvampire is offline
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I am so sorry about the loss of your dad
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I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach
Thanks for this!
Qwerty Cat
  #22  
Old May 29, 2017, 11:44 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mackie51 View Post
That's really beautiful, Qwerty Cat. But what about the souls that hear it? I think we carry the music forward in our hearts, don't we?
I want to think so, Mackie. I love the fact that one song can be interpreted in a million different ways, by a million different souls. I am feeling peaceful enough right now to share these insights. I may be in great pain again tomorrow, but the moments of clarity are what count.

I only wish I were clever enough to put a tune to those words.
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"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

INSCRIPTION ON SYLVIA PLATH'S HEADSTONE

Last edited by Qwerty Cat; May 30, 2017 at 12:14 AM.
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  #23  
Old May 29, 2017, 11:49 PM
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Qwerty Cat Qwerty Cat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily View Post
QWERTY...can you contact nearby hospice agencies? They may be able to help you with free or extremely low cost grief counseling even if your father wasn't in hospice. It would probably be short term but it might be enough to get through the shock and overwhelming emotional waves that can come early on in loss. Just an idea. In the meantime, keep posting here for support.
I may look into this, after the funeral and life insurance issues are all settled. The thing is that my mom really needs me right now and there is no one else to tend to her needs while I'm away at appointments. I'm looking into moving in with someone I'm close to anyway, because this house just carries far too many memories of my dad. However, I still worry a lot for my mom and whether she'll perceive this as yet another abandonment - I've always suspected she has BPD. She is also alcoholic. I may start grief counseling once I've moved and am living in a much more supportive environment. It will happen soon, as soon as I make sure my mom is well taken care of financially. That shouldn't be another thing for her to worry about. She has gone through enough.
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"Even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted."

INSCRIPTION ON SYLVIA PLATH'S HEADSTONE
Hugs from:
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  #24  
Old May 30, 2017, 09:06 AM
Mackie51 Mackie51 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerty Cat View Post
I want to think so, Mackie. I love the fact that one song can be interpreted in a million different ways, by a million different souls. I am feeling peaceful enough right now to share these insights. I may be in great pain again tomorrow, but the moments of clarity are what count.

I only wish I were clever enough to put a tune to those words.
It'll happen if it happens. I don't think you can force these things. But you do have poetry in you. Maybe you can find someone to put it to music? Bernie Taupin had Elton John, .
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