A new-self

I decided to ask for help just a couple of weeks ago and that’s the first time I have really faced the fact I may suffer from depression. This has caused the dam in my mind to burst and the thought that I felt like this my whole life.

… Well not since I was a baby, don’t get me wrong but since I was 15. Before that age it was all games and fun, after that my life have been wrapped up in dark thoughts. This led me to think that maybe I have a better self waiting to be discovered. Maybe the self I am today is in some way “fake” because is changed by my dark thoughts. Maybe when I will receive the help that I need I will discover that I am not the person who always ruins everything, the person in the group who is always sad, the person who can’t get up every morning. Maybe I’m better than this, maybe I will discover to be another person and someone will truly love me.
I can’t wait to be that person.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I'm glad you reached out for help. With treatment, I hope you are the you that you want to be. Best wishes.

Yes. A new chapter in your life!! So exciting! Depression definitely dampens my true self. It weighs me down and makes me want to hide from the world. I remember when I first came to terms that I had depression. It actually gave me hope that things could feel better. I started reading anything I could find to learn everything about it. I also had it most of my life. I think it really kicked in- at thirteen. Best of luck to you.