[LessieNikitia]

I think I can get better. I know depression will stay with me forever but maybe I can be happy too. See, I found hope. And hope has a name but that dosn't really matter because its not about them. Its about me finding that peice that I've been missing. The part of me that can control the pain that cripples me. I found out something about myself. I am... I can't say the word. I'll put it this way, I'm attracted to my own gender. And thats why I hate myself. Why I think I deserve to be used and controlled. As much as I hate it about myself, it gave me hope. And showed me happiness. I couldn't be with her. I wouldn't allow it and now she is with someone else. I'm OK with that. She was still that key that opened my gilded cage that woman poet talked about. I'm still miserable and self loathing but I can work on that. I can work on me. When I thought about forgetting what I learned and marry and have kids I wanted to die as I sat and sobbed. I don't know where my future is, but I know I experienced a hope in the dark.

[LessieNikitia]

The poem I was talking about is this by maya angelou

A free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and is tune is heard
on the distant hillfor the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

[gloria]

WOW! I love it ... Thanks for sharing

gab