Depressed, but not depression?

I hope it's ok for me to post here, since I don't have depression and I'm not asking about someone that does. When I was in therapy my therapist ruled it out - something to do with my mood being "reactive" - I'll feel happy if something good happens. Doesn't always last long, though, and it's not lasting long today.

I've been feeling like hell since last night - see this post for why. I'm fairly sure I've probably blown things out of all proportion, but ever since then it's been a real effort to make myself do anything; I've been feeling tired even though I got a lot of sleep last night; I've been feeling lonely, yet not wanting to see anyone (I almost wanted to cancel meeting my sister for lunch today...I'm glad I didn't, because it made me feel better for a while, but it didn't last ); I've been feeling unhappy; and I've been blaming myself for not making more of an effort to be sociable. It's no wonder I'm a failure as a friend, really.

I don't know if it's possible to feel depressed if you don't actually have depression, but I took the depression test basing my answers on how I've been feeling last night and today and ended up with a score of 24.

Is there any way to help myself "snap out" of this? I don't like it.

(Again, feel free to delete/move this if it shouldn't be here.)

I would try to change how you think about what happened last night? You didn't say when/how they made the plans to go out? It could be that the mutual friends were just mentioning it and your flatmate invited herself to go along too? It doesn't sound like a "formal" invitation or planned sort of occurrence? There were probably other "mutual friends" who didn't go either? I don't know either if you have been out some of this week at other events (like your chamber group?) and maybe they didn't think of you only because they didn't know/were unsure of your schedule and thought you might be busy. It can be hard when things are arranged on the fly with no great planning to think beyond the people who are actually there. If you were talking to some of the people after chamber, for example, and they suggested going around the corner for a bite/drink before one of them running you home, would you think to call your flatmates and tell them where you were or that you'll be "late" getting home in case they were thinking of you and worried? I know I wouldn't. So much goes on in a face-to-face negotiation that it can be hard to think of things/people "outside" that? They could only "see" the people there/or that they thought about in conjunction with "soccer" and the event itself. So it wasn't something "personal" -- they didn't forget "you" or decide they didn't want to invite "you", you just weren't the bull in the china shop for them this time :-)

I was with a friend last week and her husband called her cell phone and it turned out she had his medicine in her purse but after we went to the event we were going to, we decided to go to dinner but it was me who suggested stopping first to get his medicine to him. You see how "associations" just may not lead to any other person, no matter how important. We were starving! :-) So we didn't think of her poor husband and how he might have been suffering even.

Too, I'd be glad I wasn't invited since I wouldn't have liked it and I would have turned it down. Wait and hope they remember you when they're going somewhere you want to go? If you turn down too many invitations, some might think, "Why bother inviting her, she always says 'no'." and that's not good?

Thanks for replying, Perna. That's a possibility - I guess it's just the way they said "we're all going to watch the rugby" and didn't make it sound like I was included in that or ask if I wanted to come too that's my problem, since I thought I was part of that group. I guess it probably was a spur of the moment thing, though. I've only been out one night other than the chamber group - I don't even know what the rest of them have been up to, I've barely seen any of them. It's no wonder they didn't think of me, really.

Guess I just need to stop being so antisocial.

Reee Oh! :-) If they said "we're all. . ." and you are part of the group, you were supposed to say, "Great! What time?" or, "Awwww, I can't come, I've got maths to study for for a quiz on Tuesday" or something. If you "think" you are part of a group (or even just wish you were part of a group) you have to "act" like a group member and respond as if you ARE part of that group. Why would they have mentioned it at all to you if they didn't feel you were part of the group/didn't think you might be interested? They're not cruel; there wasn't an implied, "and you aren't invited, ha ha. . ." at the end of the statement :-) They were just "checking in" with another member of the group (you) who wasn't there in the original plan stage to see what you were doing/up to and if you could come along.

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Perna said:
If they said "we're all. . ." and you are part of the group, you were supposed to say, "Great! What time?" or, "Awwww, I can't come, I've got maths to study for for a quiz on Tuesday" or something. If you "think" you are part of a group (or even just wish you were part of a group) you have to "act" like a group member and respond as if you ARE part of that group.

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See, this is why I needed to post this! That never would have occurred to me. For whatever reason, I rarely feel like I'm included unless someone actually says I am. Possibly, my not feeling included leads other people to believe I don't want to be included, actually.

So, thanks for your help! I'm feeling better today.