Long roads

Today is a bad day but it should not be. I just got home Sunday from a mini vacation and woke up today to find I had today off as well. Work is the only thing preoccupying my mind this past year, when I don't work I suffer in my head all day long. I feel like I fell into a pit that is too deep to crawl out of. Maybe these blues are side effects from weening off old meds onto new ones? My therapist didn't seem to agree and the psychiatrist office also didn't seem too concerned that I would have side effects. Maybe its not the medicine but me, it wouldn't be the first time my brain sucked me down into needless dispair. Last week when I would wake up I would cry for no reason, thankfully that seems to have passed but I still feel like I am on the verge.

Early last year I started on Paxil with varying successes... mainly the anxiety which practically became non-existent. However, it sedated me too much and it gave me hyperactive movements, agitation and irritiability and did not help my depression (I went up to 30mg for 4-6 months). Then came the addition of Wellbutrin, that made the paxil anti-anxiety stop working :-( it also made me feel like I was on speed 24/7 so I was hardly sleeping and I was super agitated constantly. This one also did not help my depression. So here comes Trintellix, which again made me irritable but also gave me severe nausea to the point I stopped eating. This made my doctor transfer me to a psychiatrist because she said she was outside her comfort zone for treatment options.

For the last month I have been on 50mg Seroquel, prescribed by the psychiatrist. I have MDD and ADHD but they suggested the possibility of bipolar. I have no idea what to think. I can see similarities but I have also never been hospitalized so I think that prevents a BP diagnosis. The seroquel has calmed my hyperactive movements and thought processes a bit so far, and the first week it made me sleep a lot but that has passed. I still don't have an appetite but the severe nausea I had from Trintellix has gone away so I can at least eat small meals throughout the day. My depression is still there and my anxiety is back at square one :-( this is frustrating. I see the psychiatrist tomorrow morning so I suspect an adjustment will be made... but damn dude. I've been on and off depressed since high school with little to no relief. I'm 31 now and pretty tired of the rollercoaster of emotions.

SORRY, I have no real purpose for this aside from ranting and just getting things off my chest. I figured writing things out will help me organize my thoughts properly for my appointment tomorrow.

I suppose since it is out there though... is anyone on Seroquel for treatment of MDD? Any luck?

I can't help since I'm not on those meds, but just know that I'm sorry you're feeling so down

Thank you I take it one day at a time and try to stay positive -- though difficult -- it helps.

I have a suggestion, being that you wrote out your post honestly and informing I would print this post out and let your psychiatrist read it. This post tells use a lot about how you are feeling and how your meds are working. Just an idea. Good luck tomorrow.

I agree with this. Sending big hugs.