[photolife91]

I am in the midst of a major depressive episode that started at the end of 2015. I've been through several depressive episodes since I was a teen (I'm now 26), and each time I thought I had hit rock bottom and that it could not get worse than that. But, with each new depressive episode, I'm proven wrong.

I was admitted to a psych ward last October for my depression, as well as suicidal ideations. It was... helpful while I was IN the hospital, but I am still pretty much in the same exact place now as when I was admitted almost a year ago. I constantly think about suicide, but so far have not made any actual plans or attempted suicide.

Since most days I don't have the will to get up and do anything, my muscles have deteriorated to the point of it being a really big problem. This makes it sooo difficult because when I do finally have a "good" day and feel ok to get up and leave my apartment, I am very limited in what I can do because I just don't have the muscle strength or endurance.

Both my depression and social anxiety have lead to me having very few real friends that I can count on. I honestly don't think I really have anyone, except for my husband. I feel so alone and isolated, and wish I at least had SOMEONE other than my husband I could feel comfortable hanging out with, or even just chatting with online.

I don't even really know what I'm here looking for... I guess maybe a pen pal? And some suggestions on making/keeping friends in-person while stuck in the deep abyss of depression so that I at least don't feel utterly alone.

This depressive episode has been going on for so long that I am at the point of just needing ANYTHING to help at least a little bit, so I can begin to start digging myself out.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Photolife91. Do I understand correctly that you made the move overseas during this recent depressive episode? Where are you in the process of gaining access to local care?

Please make yourself at home here.

[photolife91]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello & Welcome, Photolife91. Do I understand correctly that you made the move overseas during this recent depressive episode? Where are you in the process of gaining access to local care?

Please make yourself at home here.

Yes, you are correct. Where we were living before was extremely isolating on it's own. So, I'm at least in a better country/city for both having easy access to things outside of the home, as well as cheaper healthcare.

I haven't really had much time to look for local care, as I have been here for less than 2 months, and most of the energy I do have has gone into trying to get settled here. A friend gave me a phone number for a doctor (not a therapist or psych) who lives right in my neighborhood who can hopefully help me get my meds re-filled when needed, as well as possibly provide references for therapists and/or psychiatrists. I just really have a hard time with phone calls (a big cause of anxiety for me), so I have been putting off calling her

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. Please, feel free to write here. You'll find many supportive people who are more than willing to listen..

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome..

[MtnTime2896]

Welcome to PC. Hopefully we can ease the loneliness a little for you.

[feeshee]

Welcome "Photo," I understand the loneliness you're feeling. I have problems reaching out too.....especially by phone. Glad you are here.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I have no friends irl bc I trust nobody irl so I can offer no advice that way. As far as online, just simply get to know people here on the forums and when you find someone similar to you or that seems to make you happy in some way, start messaging them. Online friends have helped me through a lot. Welcome to PsychCentral.

[Sunflower123]

Welcome. Keep posting. We can be a support for you.