How did we survive this long?

There are those of us that have been suffering with this crap for decades. How have we managed to survive this long?

Bringing up a child for me was (and even though she is grown up still is) a major protective factor. Having experienced what it's like as a child of a parent threatening suicide regularly (and using it as a form of child control) I would never in a million years inflict that on my own children and consider it bordering on abuse. In practice what it means is I had to develop really good cognitive coping strategies in order to get through each day, there were days and weeks, sometimes longer, where it was extremely hard to face the world and have often had suicidal thoughts, but somehow I found enough to just keep going and in work, which (being in a caring profession) also gave me an external focus and people who needed me to keep it together. Even though this did lead me to neglecting my physical health and wellbeing in other ways for many years I am trying to sort that out too.

Part of what helps - based on my childhood I think - is I am extremely good at compartmentalising (or some might call it disassociating). I can put my own feelings and needs 'on hold' to be there for others or just to get the job done. I do know it's not always the most healthy approach as it means I don't tend to look after myself (and now am paying for that) but it got me through, which was the question.

I survived by the love of my family

I don't know how I'm still surviving. I've tried just about everything and I'm still depressed. I guess we are stronger than we think, or we wouldn't be here.
I fight for happiness every day of my life, but I'm starting to get tired.

I've been dealing with my depression and then bipolar for 50 years. Sometimes I'm doing fine and living a relatively happy life. Other times I go completely off the rails, and feel like I'm barely hanging on by my fingernails.

I don't know what to say other than the bad times pass. That doesn't make them suck any less. When I'm in a bad place and hide in my room and read of lot of books about self help, healing, and looking at mental illness from a spiritual point of view.

Eventually I crawl out of my hole and blink at the sunlight. Life is good again. It like watching a weird nature show with me as the star of the show as some bizarre and unusual animal.

Survive is the magic word. I believe that people who live with MI or other long lasting conditions and keep going, keep trying to come out the other side, find strength within themselves they didn't know they had. I know I have. I'm not saying MI is good, but we can and do learn from it.

Don't look at yourself as a sufferer. Look at yourself as a survivor!

I have a daughter that I promised back when she was a baby (right after I was diagnosed) that she would never lose me that way. That promise has been incredibly hard to keep at times but I'm still here.

Hi Jennifer

I had 3 kids and at one time I promised myself I would not "do it" until the last was grown. Well, I got remarried and had another child before she was grown. So I had to revise...I never made any more promises to myself like that. I have been sui many times since, but never tried it.

Having someone you know would definitely be impacted by your choice can keep you safe. It won't keep you from getting to that point, but might keep you from taking that final step.

Becaure you're all strong warriors

I'm not strong I'm just trapped. Killing myself is just not an option but life is intolerable sometimes too, don't know what to do really so I end up just living one more day, every day, and getting through it the best way I can.