School and Depression

I have just watched the documentary



and I wish I could enroll to a school like the one portrayed in the movie despite my age.

I believe that one of the causes of my depression is a chronic lack of self-esteem, paralyzing self-loathing and social awkwardness that I developed while I was growing up in a very dysfunctional family. The only "psychological" support that I received was from my sisters.

Now that I have plunged into a deep middle-age crisis I feel like as if I am going back in time to my childhood but without the support of my sisters (they are 6,000 miles away and we cannot communicate in a constructive manner anymore). I must find a way to re-invent myself and I don’t know how. At the moment, it's an endless and exhausting daily struggle to find the energy to keep my motivation going.

I attended standard old-fashioned schools so I did not receive much “psychological” support from my teachers. Thinking about “Most Like to Succeed” makes me wonder…if those teachers had put more emphasis on developing my soft skills rather than focusing exclusively on my ability to memorize the content of textbooks and pass tests would I be in a better place now?

Have you thought about taking some classes which explore new pathways for you? You could take some academic classes, or do continuing education classes. I found this helpful when I was in a rut years ago, and I ended up in graduate school with a new career path. You are never too old to go back to school.

I did and it is not working out in the way that I hoped so far. (I have a little part time job that's a source of stress. Today, for instance, my blood pressure was 160. It has never been that high in my entire life). You got lucky somehow and, maybe, met the right people.