[dexter]

I feel like a wreck tonight. I'm posting replies to others and I probably shouldn't be. I've been trying to sleep for two hours and can't get any. I worked a little today and it went well but afterward everything just collapsed. I'm worried I won't be able to go back there tomorrow out of sheer exhaustion. Maybe I'm not ready to be working yet but I don't have much choice left, I have 400 in my bank account and that's all I have left and I'm already overdue a month on bills and that's considering that I've already slacked off on most of my bills because of money.

Tonight's not sleeping feels just like the not sleeping that began for 4 days straight the night before I went into the hospital. I hope I am not just recycling the nightmare. My anxiety isn't even the same repeating stuff it just gets replaced with new stuff and I can't stop it.

Sorry if any of my replies have been rude tonight.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[pebblypoo]

Hi Dex. I should be in bed too by now, you're not alone. Usually lately I make myself get in bed by 4:00am so I'm usually asleep by 5:30 or 6:00am. It's been getting later and later though and tonight I found a good excuse to stay up. I do force myself to exercise every day though no matter how late I get up. I guess going back to work would get me on a more routine schedule! But that's one of the things keeping me up, I'm sure. Riddled with anxiety over that thought, the thought of failure again, all the "what if's."

I was actually thinking of you earlier tonight when I noticed you hadn't posted today because you usually do daily. I'm glad you were able to go to work today, maybe being productive helped, even a little? Just wanted to let you know you're not the only sleepless, anxiety riddled New Jersian (?) up late and online tonight!

<font color=purple> The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated--Gandhi

Sometimes I lie awake at night in bed and I ask, "Is it all worth it?" And then a voice says, "Who are you talking to?" And another voice says, "You mean, ' To whom are you talking?'" And I say, "No wonder I lie awake at night."--Charlie Brown </font color=purple>

[dexter]

thanks pebbles

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--http://www.idexter.com

[SS8282]

(((((((((((((dexter))))))))))))))))))))))

[shakes]

((((Dex)))))
Congrats on being able to go to work. Little steps my friend. Just like you have told me.

Stay strong,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

[Fuzzybear]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dave}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Fuzzybear]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dave}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

It was really good chatting to you last night. Thanks for being such a good friend to me and so many others here. (My present state has nothing to do with you, although as you aren't "paranoid" like I am hopefully that didn't occur to you anyway! ...)

Love,
Fuzzy