Go ahead .. Tell Me

I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm hopeless. I'm depressed. I don't give a hoot about anything. I want this life over. I don't care if people like me or hate me - most probably hate me by now anyway. I am so frigging tired of it all.

Go ahead judge me.
Tell me I am screwed.
Tell me I don't know my head from my rear end.
Tell me you know my life better than me.
Tell me you know what my thoughts are better than I do.
Tell me I don't really have it that bad.
Go for it.
Tell me.
Let's hear it.

Know why?????
I try with everything I have in me to treat people with compassion and love and understanding. I try to protect people in need or hurting. I try to be very up front and honest about things that bother me, and most of the things involving who I am. I try to be a basically "decent" person (at least as how I view one to be).

What do I get back?

I get told how crappy a person I am. How I don't ever do things right. How nobody likes me. How I never really had it that bad. How hundreds of other ppl have it much worse than me. How what I thought I felt or said wasn't really what I felt or said at all. How I don't know how to interact with people. The list goes on.

So I don't care. Add to it. You know I am hurting. If you have been following my posts over the past few days you know exactly why.

Go ahead. Make fun of it. Tell me its nothing.

Yes, this is in part vent, in part a last ditch effort to get help, and in part just a serious statement that other than ticking me off more - saying crap about me does nothing. Ticking me off is useless. You want me gone? Anger won't do it. You want me to stick around? Anger pushes me away from you.

Do not start pointing fingers of blame at yourself or others - if I wanted that done I would do it myself. I am not even trying to say it happened here - but it did happen tonight. Way too much happened tonight.

I don't know what to say, Crypts. I wish I did.

For what it's worth, you're a very good friend to me. You're also a very good friend to others on PC. I see how much you try and how much you help/support people here. Thank you for that.

That actually means a lot. I am getting way too much negativity lately and I am imploding n exploding at the same time - but having to do it "silently". Which means - its only allowed to come out here

I wish that you didn't have to be in so much pain, let alone be silent about it. I say, get as much out as you can here. You need it, and more. Us here at PC will be reading away and offer as much support as we can. Afterall, for me, it's the least I can do for a friend who's been doing the same.

You know - that actually brought tears to my eyes reading.

Thank You. ❤

Any time, friend

I think you’re a great person Crypts

Whoever has been saying this crap about you .....

We’re here for you any time, I know how it feels to “have” to stay silent, it sucks

Thank you Fuzzy ❤
Means more than you know! (and yes - it does suck ... bad)

It's horrible that you've been treated this way. They truly do not see your beauty as a person

Please, feel free to vent here, Crypts. We will always listen to you, never judge you. I think you've had enough of that, already.. Thank you for what you do for us.

I am sorry to hear how you have been treated, it is not fair. You have helped me out since I've been here, and I'm glad we have talked. Hang in there, and keep on remembering that we support you!

I really, really hope it isn't me who's said something to distress you. Like you, I always try to be honest, so it's possible. I'm mortified if I have. It's a misunderstanding, for sure, as I have nothing but fondness and respect for you.

Thank you for saying I have "beauty as a person". Here is actually the only place I feel totally free to vent - though I am almost sure there are 2 ppl who would listen without judgement. I just feel I burden them. Others though - ppl I tried to talk to .. why is it those are always the ones who hurt you most?

I enjoy helping others - I just don't understand why that makes me bad.

It's not you. That's why I said not to point fingers...
It really doesn't matter who did it. The fact it was done n that it hurts is all that matters.

*hugs*
❤

I'm glad, in any case. But really sorry it's happened.

Thank you
I never realized I helped you.
I like helping ppl so that is nice to hear