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  #1  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 01:05 AM
anonymous50007
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I seem to have 1 good day in 60 (and I'm not exaggerating. I'm talking about days that are totally depression free and POSITIVE).

You guys want to know the truth? I've been smoking for almost 30 years. I wish I'd get cancer so I can get out of here.

Possible trigger:


And I feel like it's really hard to overcome that and turn this around. I'm not happy. Life feels so mundane and pointless.

I'm just sick of everything.

Last edited by anonymous50007; Dec 09, 2017 at 01:21 AM.
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Anonymous50909, CepheidVariable, MtnTime2896, Skeezyks, sky457, Turtle_Rider

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  #2  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 03:18 PM
Anonymous50909
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I am so sorry you are struggling. Keep talking and letting your feelings out. I know what it feels like to not want to keep going. Hugs.
  #3  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 04:23 PM
anonymous50007
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^ ^ Thank you.
Hugs from:
Anonymous50909
  #4  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 07:25 PM
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
I understand completely how you feel. I've spent the last 3 months in bed, only showering once a week, trying to will myself to change things, not being able to, wondering what's the point, wishing something would just kill me already...

I don't know what happened or if finally I just snapped in like a good way but I started researching some symptoms that I have that I haven't really talked to my doctor about and realized that I had developed avoidance coping behaviors....knowing what was happening to me has helped me get a bit of a fresh outlook and I've been feeling a little more optimistic. Not better...just like maybe there's hope again.

But regardless, I wanted you to know that i know EXACTLY how you feel and I'm sending some healing thoughts your way. Hoping you get 2 days out of 60 this time.

(((Null)))

Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
  #5  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 07:35 PM
anonymous50007
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^ ^ Thank you, I appreciate that.
  #6  
Old Dec 09, 2017, 08:32 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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