[MtnTime2896]

When I'm alone like this, I feel everything so much more.

I don't want to feel this anymore.

Possible trigger:

I want to end it all. I want to end it tonight. I have the ability and the proper amount of time. I've talked to everyone one last time.

I can't hold everyone up anymore, but the chains won't loosen. They're around my neck and tighten every time I try to breathe. I'm holding onto people who've given up and I keep pulling them off the ledge, the most recent one being my little sister. I don't even know if what I'm doing is right, if it's humane. I know it sure as hell doesn't feel that way for me.

I want to break, completely. No one will be there when I crumble. I know they won't because I won't let them. These are my demons, not theirs. They have enough to deal with.

I just hope everyone knows how sorry I am that I can't keep this up.

Só leigheas, I'm sorry for what you're going through. Please hang in there.

[MtnTime2896]

I'm trying. I'm really trying. I just don't know if I'm strong enough to do this.

I don't know what to say. But I hear ya.

[CepheidVariable]

Could you not have to hold everyone else up for now? Even if just for one day? People have a responsibility to and for themselves as well. All we can do is support one another with whatever capacity we currently have.

It's not all on you. It can't be.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by _nullandvoid_

I don't know what to say. But I hear ya.

Thanks for that.

It really does mean a lot.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

Could you not have to hold everyone else up for now? Even if just for one day? People have a responsibility to and for themselves as well. All we can do is support one another with whatever capacity we currently have.

It's not all on you. It can't be.

I tell myself to do that, I've succeeded a time or two. If I'm not there, who would be? I let myself step back from my little sister...

Possible trigger:

Those cuts were so deep.
She lost so much blood.

And I wasn't there.

When it comes right down to it, I almost feel like everyone's racing towards the end instead of fighting to stick around. And I'm not any better and I know I hide so much from everyone. They all think I'm bullet proof. The only one who doesn't has shut me out for the same reason I pushed everyone away from this side of me. What happens when it's not just a side, anymore? What happens when it's just me?

Why does everyone around me give up? Why do they think I'm so damn strong when I'm falling apart right in front of them? Why can't they see it?

I feel like such a selfish ****, but why can't they hold me this time? Why can't they be strong?

[CepheidVariable]

I am so sorry.

I don't know what to say just now when you are so frightened for someone you love, but thank you for telling me.

Please say what you have to.

I will stay here if you need someone.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

I am so sorry.

I don't know what to say just now when you are so frightened for someone you love, but thank you for telling me.

Please say what you have to.

I will stay here if you need someone.

I appreciate it, but I can't ask you to do that. And, being honest, I don't know what more I have to say. I'm just praying that these crooked thoughts will go away.

Thank you, though. I think I'm going to try and distract myself. I'm hearing things, again, which means it's going to be a long night.

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I appreciate it, but I can't ask you to do that.

Yes you can. There is nothing more worthwhile than this. I have nowhere I must be tomorrow.

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

And, being honest, I don't know what more I have to say. I'm just praying that these crooked thoughts will go away.

If just talking about anything will help....
If I can be that distraction even....

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

Yes you can. There is nothing more worthwhile than this. I have nowhere I must be tomorrow.


If just talking about anything will help....
If I can be that distraction even....

I PM'ed you. Just so I don't spam the boards.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( So leigheas ))))))))

[Rohag]

How are you doing today, Só leigheas?

[Guiness187055]

Your strong enough and important enough to get through this hard time.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Rohag

How are you doing today, Só leigheas?

Pretty much the same as last night. Only difference is that I'm not alone and don't have opportunity to do anything about it.

Funny, now all I want is to be alone. No wonder no one wants to or can help me.

[Bill3]