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  #1  
Old Jan 02, 2018, 01:11 AM
chickenortheegg chickenortheegg is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 2
A bit of backstory. I was involved with who I thought was my best male friend. He treated me awfully and I cut him off 2 times during the 5 months this happened. The second time he came back with lines that suggested he made major changes and wanted to progress things. It wasn't true and hence everything fell apart again.

I made friends with his group of friends which also consisted of people I had known and was friendly with since I was a teen. The third time things fell apart, the guy would not let things go and caused drama among the group by continually mentioning my name and checking up on my whereabouts, which of course led me into his web of drama by defending myself. Because I was the newest there, their loyalties laid with him and it was easiest to get rid of me to stop the drama and I was excluded from new years (which we had all planned together well before he was invited) and told not to rejoin the group for some time.

I was already in a horrible place and they kicked me while I was down. I did not care about the guy, I just didn't want him to ostracise me from my friends. I attempted suicide that night. It was not a plea for help, it was a genuine attempt. I made it through because unbeknownst to me, other medications I need to take, dramatically slowed down the absorption of what I used. I let people know what happened, not for sympathy but just to tell them I'm ok, I'm seeking help and for them to continue their new years as normal.

Some have expressed that they now dislike me and don't want me to come near the group again and others,who I thought I had the strongest bond with, have flat out ignored me despite sending an apologetic and positive new years message to. One sent me a mean message claiming I did it for attention and to manipulate and they don't want to see or speak to me. No one has asked if I am actually ok. Nevermind the fact I helped them through all of their recent struggles with no judgement, as they struggle with mental health issues too.

I'm feeling so alone. I don't know if it's worth salvaging the friendships. I can't tell if they are they just angry/upset and need time to cool off or if they are they just cold hearted people who I shouldn't be wasting time on. Obviously if it's the latter, there is nothing I can do. If it's the former, how do I go about repairing the friendships? Clearly they need a break from me and I will never ever mention or go near the guy who started this saga in the first place, but if it is worth salvaging, where do I start? How long do I wait? what do I say? Especially when they are ignoring me.
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  #2  
Old Jan 02, 2018, 11:39 AM
chickenortheegg chickenortheegg is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Australia
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I have also recently realised that one person in the group, who is jealous of new bonds I have formed with the members, has played a huge role in setting up situations to make things worse. I've noticed the major dramas started when she involved herself in issues and has been in everyone's ears saying different things and garnering attention. I feel like both me and the guy have been set up and things are becoming more clear.
  #3  
Old Jan 02, 2018, 02:46 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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Location: The Star of the North
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Hello chickenorth: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I don't know as there would be much I could offer with regard to your particular concerns. What I would likely do in a situation such as this would be to simply assume these relationships are over & move on. If, later on, one or more of the folks reappeared... fine... I'd take it from there. But that, of course, is just my personal opinion.

Having written that, here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives that may be of some interest:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/gentl...r-not-to-quit/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...with-a-friend/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...ship-break-up/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...with-a-friend/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Hugs from:
katydid777, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote
  #4  
Old Jan 02, 2018, 03:29 PM
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Wild Coyote Wild Coyote is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 12,735
Since you've just attempted to take your life, you must know you need help.
You need professional help and support. You describe these friends as not supportive right now.

Put the effort into sorting yourself out and you will likely attract healthy friends.

there is also a relationship forum where you may get additional feedback.

Take care of yourself.

WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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