[DechanDawa]

I think I would be labeled treatment resistant at this point.

I can't take anti-depressants because of bad side effects. I am now even having bad side effects from supplements. For instance, I think using valerian for insomnia increases my depression so I have stopped taking it.

Therapy didn't work. I ended up hating the counselor because nothing she suggested helped. I parted ways on a positive note and thanked her. She wasn't a bad person but she was ineffectual in my case. I don't have any inclination to try someone new. I'm done with therapy.

I wouldn't try ECT because of the side effects.

I feel doomed. I've changed my diet to mostly vegetarian, I don't drink alcohol or do any drugs. The only medication I take is for thyroid. I have a shelf full of self-help books and workbooks.

I have had depression in the past and usually it lifts no matter what. So I have gritted my teeth and waited it out. But this is a protracted depressive episode.

I am kind of angry all the doctors I consulted in the past few years did not offer much in the way of relief. I feel kind of trapped.

If you are or have been treatment resistant I would like to hear how you have handled it.

I have a spiritual practice. I exercise. I keep a journal. I practice CBT. But at the moment I feel like I have incurable cancer. Nothing I do really puts a dent in the depression

How is your sleep? Do you get a good nights rest?
I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder at 24, graves' disease, so I have learned a little about my thyroid supplement. There is a wide range that doctors use to measure the activity of the hormone produced. I ask to be on the higher end of normal, as it will speed up brain activity, metabollism, heart rate etc. You likely know this yourself, just thinking you might have it checked again. Depression remains in me since I was able to remember things. I sometimes think all the medication for depression and anxiety in the last 30 or so years has made me treatment resistant. Best wishes to you

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by disparaissant

How is your sleep? Do you get a good nights rest?
I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder at 24, graves' disease, so I have learned a little about my thyroid supplement. There is a wide range that doctors use to measure the activity of the hormone produced. I ask to be on the higher end of normal, as it will speed up brain activity, metabollism, heart rate etc. You likely know this yourself, just thinking you might have it checked again. Depression remains in me since I was able to remember things. I sometimes think all the medication for depression and anxiety in the last 30 or so years has made me treatment resistant. Best wishes to you

Hi and thank you. I didn't mention I have depression with anxiety. I just had my thyroid medication checked and the doctor said I was on too high a dosage and lowered it. I was taking Wellbutrin for the depression and it increased my anxiety (and caused insomnia) to the point where I couldn't tolerate it. My primary care doctor wanted to put me on a more sedating anti-depressant. But I refused because I have done this in the past and it only increased my depression. I am now suspecting my thyroid might actually be playing a greater role than I originally thought. I have read that too high a dosage can also exacerbate depression...but I am really not sure. After all, I am not a doctor. Thanks for your response. You were right on about the thyroid medication. I have a new dosage and will be tested again in 10 weeks.

[DechanDawa]

I know it sounds like I am not hopeful. However, I am hopeful, in a strange way. If I am treatment resistant I just want to accept it and go on. I do feel kind of angry at the medical establishment because sometimes the "medication and therapy" route just doesn't work...and they have nothing left to offer.

I am now thinking that maybe my thyroid is out of whack. Since I switched to generic thyroid medication my tests keep showing I am on too high a dosage. Maybe the depression is more wrapped up with the thyroid than I think...and I should keep on top of my tests and dosage.

[Nike007]

Hi, I’m considered treatment resistant. I’ve tried different medications and such and it’s either the side effects or they poop out after a few months.

I know that you said that you didn’t find therapy helpful, but honestly, in order for therapy to work, you and the therapist (or whoever does the therapy) must connect and work together. I finally have a good psychologist doing therapy with me. My last person wasn’t the greatest either, and I felt it was a waste of time to be honest. I’ve been overall lucky I guess, and a social worker I saw was also good. A pdoc who did therapy with me was also okay... I don’t know. I liked her, but she wasn’t too good with therapy I guess.

I also know working on sleep and diet help. It’s not a solution to “curing it” though. I think it just helps you get better. If I don’t get enough sleep, then I’m really emotional the next day and I feel awful. Sometimes I get irritable.

Thyroid conditions can cause depression, so working on that would be key.

I know that exercise is suppose to help too. I haven’t gotten to a stage where it has helped, at least in my mind, but there are a lot of studies that it does help with depression.

Being outside and exposed to the sunlight may help.

I don’t have too much advice, but I’ll let you know I understand about being treatment resistant.

[MickeyCheeky]

I hope you won't give up.. you have a lot to give to this world.

[Minnow]

Just a suggestion but have you thought of trying CBD oil. I don't have any experience with it but have been reading about it. Hope your mood improves and you find peace.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Minnow

Just a suggestion but have you thought of trying CBD oil. I don't have any experience with it but have been reading about it. Hope your mood improves and you find peace.

Yes, actually I did because I live in a state where such things are legal. It was expensive and really did nothing for the depression. Also, it had a very nasty taste even if disguised by flavorings.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Nike007

Hi, I’m considered treatment resistant. I’ve tried different medications and such and it’s either the side effects or they poop out after a few months.

I know that you said that you didn’t find therapy helpful, but honestly, in order for therapy to work, you and the therapist (or whoever does the therapy) must connect and work together. I finally have a good psychologist doing therapy with me. My last person wasn’t the greatest either, and I felt it was a waste of time to be honest. I’ve been overall lucky I guess, and a social worker I saw was also good. A pdoc who did therapy with me was also okay... I don’t know. I liked her, but she wasn’t too good with therapy I guess.

I also know working on sleep and diet help. It’s not a solution to “curing it” though. I think it just helps you get better. If I don’t get enough sleep, then I’m really emotional the next day and I feel awful. Sometimes I get irritable.

Thyroid conditions can cause depression, so working on that would be key.

I know that exercise is suppose to help too. I haven’t gotten to a stage where it has helped, at least in my mind, but there are a lot of studies that it does help with depression.

Being outside and exposed to the sunlight may help.

I don’t have too much advice, but I’ll let you know I understand about being treatment resistant.

I have had several therapists over my life and I have to be honest, none of them were that helpful. At the most I used them as a support while going through a transition. I feel it is an unhealthy relationship because one becomes attached to someone after sharing personal stuff...and is paying someone...and eventually it becomes imbalanced and unhealthy. Just my take. I think therapy is highly over-rated as a treatment. Every therapist I had except one made really stupid suggestions and I was truly in awe of such professional ignorance.

I specifically wanted someone who practiced CBT. I am in an area where there are a lot of therapist and counselors and the one I hooked up with was the only one who primarily used CBT. And she ended up being very weak in this area. I find this very unprofessional. If you say you are a CBT counselor...shouldn't you be skilled at CBT? I am very familiar with CBT and have workbooks and I can do it on my own. I don't need hand-holding. Therapy fosters dependency, I think.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

I have had several therapists over my life and I have to be honest, none of them were that helpful. At the most I used them as a support while going through a transition. I feel it is an unhealthy relationship because one becomes attached to someone after sharing personal stuff...and is paying someone...and eventually it becomes imbalanced and unhealthy. Just my take. I think therapy is highly over-rated as a treatment. Every therapist I had except one made really stupid suggestions and I was truly in awe of such professional ignorance.

I specifically wanted someone who practiced CBT. I am in an area where there are a lot of therapist and counselors and the one I hooked up with was only one who primarily used CBT. And she ended up being very weak in that area. I am very familiar with CBT and have workbooks and I can do it on my own. I don't need hand-holding.

I’m sorry about your negative experiences with therapist and the lack of support near you. It’s good that you have been using CBT workbooks on your own. I hope you do find something that works for you.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I’m sorry about your negative experiences with therapist and the lack of support near you. It’s good that you have been using CBT workbooks on your own. I hope you do find something that works for you.

Thanks. I think trying so hard to find a "cure" isn't working for me. Today I thought maybe just accepting where I am would maybe be the most helpful thing. But that isn't easy.

[DechanDawa]

I am hoping for spontaneous remission!

[DechanDawa]

How to cut through self-pity and just realistically face the situation...and manage it...?

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Thanks. I think trying so hard to find a "cure" isn't working for me. Today I thought maybe just accepting where I am would maybe be the most helpful thing. But that isn't easy.

I understand how it is. For me, I’ve been told several times that I’m impatient with myself when I’m in a depressive episode and it’s really true. I guess patience is key.