[sinking]

Words are never enough. i have never felt heard as much as when i acted on words and have accompanied them with actions (which resulted as "acting out/making a scene")

this is why i SH: to show my pain (even if only to myself), why i drink, why i take pills.... nothing expresses my feelings and calms me better than these.

this is why i attempted sui several times, why im still contemplating sui and why i quit therapy.... i didnt feel heard by my T either. as if nobody ever takes me seriously.... and the only way to make them "get it" is by actions.

specifically, now..... i have accomplished nothing in my life, im a total waste, the only thing i was proud of, getting a job (go figure), is the very same thing pushing me to sui again.

i told them how much i can take without going crazy, im not making things up just to work less, i have always given 110% and i even have a paper stating my invalidity, but they dont care. and i keep dreaming on losing it and ODing or worse in front of them. maybe that way they will get it?

or maybe its a sign im REALLY not made for this life if along with relationships, im not even able to keep a job? a job that i fought so hard to get (not because i liked it but because i wanted to accomplish at least one thing in my life and being able to go live on my own (at 35!!!))

why nobody ever listens to me? why nobody hears me? why my words are never enough, never serious enough? not even Ts thought i was serious. why nobody cares and they only hear what they want to hear from me? im so tired and hopeless.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you're feeling despondent. Unfortunately, my experience tells me that nobody listening, nobody hearing, nobody taking you serious enough is simply the way it is for pretty-much everyone. Ultimately each one of us is just on our own... for better or worse. I wish I had something more encouraging to offer. But I don't. I hope that, in some way, you can find deep peace within.

[sinking]

I guess you're right... but its sad....

and how do i survive if others' voices are louder than mine? so louder that mine cant be heard?

will i just die quietly as if i hadnt existed?

[sinking]

Will i just quietly die as if i had never existed?

[MeXoXO]

Originally Posted by sinking

Will i just quietly die as if i had never existed?

Hi I’m sorry you feel that way .
I know this might sound like a lie but , it gets better I’ll promise you .

Sometimes we just need a break from everyone and everything, so I decided to go inpatient,it was really helpful.

This doesn’t mean you have to go inpatient is your choice.

But if you go to heaven you wouldn’t be here to see what the future has for you !

I know it might seem like no one cares but people care about you , remember Sui doesn’t end the pain it just passes it to someone else .

I hope you’ll get better soon

[sinking]

So how do my voice get heard? Cutting in front of them? ODing in front of them? Making a scene?

What else way do i have to do to make myself heard if my voice is useless???

[Anonymous37919]

I know how you feel. It's like screaming into the abyss sometimes. You really must find it hard to cope when nobody is paying much attention. I feel the same way. It's all an uphill battle with the higher powers in our lives, but you will find you can achieve limited minor success from time to time too. That's what I try to focus on. Because 23 bad days being followed up by 3 good days makes all the difference. But, yes. It's a bit crap when the depression creeps back again.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by sinking

Words are never enough. i have never felt heard as much as when i acted on words and have accompanied them with actions (which resulted as "acting out/making a scene")

this is why i SH: to show my pain (even if only to myself), why i drink, why i take pills.... nothing expresses my feelings and calms me better than these.

this is why i attempted sui several times, why im still contemplating sui and why i quit therapy.... i didnt feel heard by my T either. as if nobody ever takes me seriously.... and the only way to make them "get it" is by actions.

specifically, now..... i have accomplished nothing in my life, im a total waste, the only thing i was proud of, getting a job (go figure), is the very same thing pushing me to sui again.

i told them how much i can take without going crazy, im not making things up just to work less, i have always given 110% and i even have a paper stating my invalidity, but they dont care. and i keep dreaming on losing it and ODing or worse in front of them. maybe that way they will get it?

or maybe its a sign im REALLY not made for this life if along with relationships, im not even able to keep a job? a job that i fought so hard to get (not because i liked it but because i wanted to accomplish at least one thing in my life and being able to go live on my own (at 35!!!))

why nobody ever listens to me? why nobody hears me? why my words are never enough, never serious enough? not even Ts thought i was serious. why nobody cares and they only hear what they want to hear from me? im so tired and hopeless.

I know your issues are horrable for you. Just to tell you, you will get a lot of support here. We are all like a family. We all try to help each other, and we all listen. When ever you need, there is always someone that will listen. If you put on here what is going on in your head, you will get someone that will try to give you the support you are needing. You may not get the perfect answers all the time, but we all care, and try to help, so if you need to talk, here is one of the best sites for you to get support. We welcome you to our family, and we hope you will get all the answers, and support you are looking for.