[mulan]

Crap... I am sad and crying because there is this person I feel I need to be taken care from. I really want her to take care of me, to protect me and to like me... I think I am projecting the need of a loving mother on her. But at the same time I feel this void like I have been abandoned... I feel like she is rejecting me or she will anytime. She is a nice person, not much older than me.

I know how insane and ridiculous this sounds. I am mad with myself for feeling this way.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( Mulan )))))))

Have you researched “Childhood Emotional Neglect”?

Or CPTSD?

[mulan]

Thanks fuzzy.

The worst part is I don't know if I am making this feelings up and so I should quiet them or I should be even more aware of them and didn't shut them up in order to stop my numbness because they are the real me.

Being a victim doesn't feel quite right, I worry it is something I make to seek attention (I am not saying who does this is an attention seeker). I feel comfortable blending in the background. And not being above or have it worst than most people.

[Fuzzybear]

I could be completely wrong... it’s partly that my opinion of long term “medication” is similar to little turtles.. it can be “sub optimal”

(I don’t know if you’re taking meds)

In my opinion doing research doesn’t make someone a “victim”

I know what you mean about not wanting to be “above others” - There is a name for that.. I think..,

Also I completely agree that comparing pain is a waste of time..

I don’t think I’m being much help..

I’m sending positive thoughts

[Fuzzybear]

PS “seeking attention” - labelling self as that is a whole can of worms.

Have you started reading the book that little turtle recommended?

[mulan]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I don’t think I’m being much help..

You made me know I was being listened

[MickeyCheeky]