Need extra help

So I’m not in therapy right now. I scheduled an appointment with a new therapist and the first appointment available was in March (2 weeks from now). I’ve been severely depressed moreso than I ever have in my life. If you know the Dass-21 test, I took it and got 20 out of 21 for depression. I’ve been really fixated on suicide spending a lot of my free time looking into it. Now since I’m not in therapy, I also can’t go to a psychiatrist and can’t get a medication changed. She gave me a safety plan but I just don’t feel strongly about being able to do all that stuff. I also have a crisis line I have messaged that works but I've been doing it multiple times a day and I feel bad for being there excessively. What should I do next?

Welcome to pc pixiedust72 (I like your name)

I don’t really have answers to your questions but want to welcome you

Keep posting.. hopefully someone will post soon who can address your specific concerns (I’m in the uk so not familiar with exactly what’s available)

Hello pixiedust: I'm sorry you are struggling. You mentioned, since you're not in therapy, you can't go to a psychiatrist & get your medication changed. So I take it you've been on some sort of medication... which I presume means you were seeing someone... but you can't go back? I presume this must all have something to do with where you live, or your health insurance provider's rules? Where I live there's no relationship between seeing a therapist, or not seeing a therapist, & seeing a psychiatrist. I don't see a therapist. But I have a psychiatrist.

I know what you mean about the safety plan idea. It all makes sense intellectually. But when you're struggling with severe depression, doing all of that stuff can feel overwhelming. I think it's one of those things you have to do when you're feeling reasonably well; so that when you need it you already have it in place. I recall once telling one of my mental health providers that if I was rational enough to call someone, I wouldn't be in danger of trying to kill myself. But if I was really in danger, I wouldn't be rational enough to call.

You asked what you should do next. If you really are in danger of trying to take your life, the thing to do is to reach out in real life for the help you need. This might include talking to a family member, a trusted friend, or someone else in your life. And if nothing of this sort is possible for you then going to the emergency services department at a local hospital is the other option. I don't know you. So I can't say specifically what you should do. But, in some way or other, it's important to reach out, in real life, for help. Of course, continuing to post here on PC, can help too. But it's not a substitute for real life mental health services.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives that perhaps can be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-thi...at-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...ve-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways...al-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...idal-thoughts/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!