[jrae]

the pit I was already in just got a h**l of a lot deeper


with a heavy heart and deep pain I say that early this afternoon, my Grandmother passed away!!! she was the last grandparent I had left...

[Wild Coyote]

I am very sorry for the loss of your grandmother.
(((((( jrae ))))))

Please take good care of yourself during this very challenging time.
We are here for you.

WC

[Candy1955]

i am so sorry

[arabianhorselover]

So sorry to hear that.

[jrae]

thank you everyone! it means a lot to me - it really does.


for my whole life it's basically been just me -> I've held myself together and been the one to pick myself up, though sometimes it takes a while. never been hospitalized or had s.a.'s. but I've wondered what will happen when I can't do that anymore.

and I'm seriously concerned that this may be the 'straw that broke the camel's back' (so to speak)! that this might be the one I can't pick myself up from!!!

and the part of me that's been alone for all this time, might override things and keep me from reaching out. the thing is, basically my entire family/relatives are all "paired", everybody has somebody- except me!!!

that's who my Grandma was to me! she is who I spent my holidays with: easter day, thanksgiving day, christmas day, and I'd even bop in on new years eve/day! plus I would get her one of those chocolate roses each val-day!! and out of 11 grandkids, I was the ONLY one who would remember Grandparents Day!!!!! (the others thought mothers day was good enough) and so I'm kinda terrified what this is gonna do to me...

[arabianhorselover]

You will get through this. It will take time, but you will get through it. Try to find some peace in knowing that you were there for her. I'm sure she appreciated it greatly.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by jrae

the pit I was already in just got a h**l of a lot deeper


with a heavy heart and deep pain I say that early this afternoon, my Grandmother passed away!!! she was the last grandparent I had left...

I understand some of what you are feeling. All my Grandparents have passed, most all Aunts, Uncles, and my Parents have passed. I have 1 Uncle out of 5 Aunts, and Uncles on my Mom's side, and ! Aunt out of 4 Aunts, and Uncles on my Dad's side.

[jasiesmith1993]

Originally Posted by jrae

the pit I was already in just got a h**l of a lot deeper


with a heavy heart and deep pain I say that early this afternoon, my Grandmother passed away!!! she was the last grandparent I had left...

RIP. I am sorry for your loss.

[jrae]

Originally Posted by katydid777

I understand some of what you are feeling. All my Grandparents have passed, most all Aunts, Uncles, and my Parents have passed. I have 1 Uncle out of 5 Aunts and Uncles on my Mom's side, and ! Aunt out of 4 Aunts and Uncles on my Dad's side.

7 group hugs -> that's the most I've gotten in a very long time !!!

thank you. and I'm sorry for your losses too! Hope you are doing okay with all that

[jrae]

the funeral is tomorrow.

tonight at the visitation/family service, I was very shocked when my cousin's wife came up to me and asked how I was doing, saying she knew how much I did for Grandma and how special (can't remember the exact word) I made these last few years for her!!! ... I almost broke into tears then! probably would have if I hadn't been holding my baby nephew (but I managed to keep myself together)

may not be able to tomorrow...

I've been playing this song on loop/replay for days now: