I don't know what to do...

Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts
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Forgive me if this is the wrong place but I'm not entirely sure where else this would fit. For the past 4-5 years, I've been feeling like crap. I feel sad and lonely yet I get anxious around people and come off as standoffish, annoying and weird because I'm stuck at home 24/7 with no way to get around so I'm not used to being around people much and have grown extremely self-conscious (I'm also too ashamed to go to the doctor because I don't want them to see me and judge me). I can't even attempting to date because I don't want people to see pictures of me or meet me in person because I'm ashamed of how I look (I'm overweight). My self-esteem is so bad that I'm even afraid to get a job! I'm a full time student currently and I'm afraid of getting a job because I feel like I'm a failure and will just end up fired. I'm so ashamed of myself and afraid of doing anything with my life that my mind is often filled with suicidal thoughts. I just feel so stuck and unhappy. I don't know how to fix all these self-image issues that are preventing me from living my life and, being that I don't work, I can't afford to go see a professional about it. Has anybody been in this situation before? If so, how did you overcome it?

I've experienced a very similar situation. You felt utterly stuck and helpless. The truth is, the hardest part is to begin.

I started out small. Not working out, but stretching. Feeling my muscles. Doing some basic self care (making myself something good to eat, styling my hair, tending to my nails, etc).

And then, instead of being crippled by my self-consciousness, I decided to get angry. My anger actually helped me get over my shyness. I rationalized that alllllll of those people barely cared if I lived or died (and only if I was standing right in front of them). SO, why would I care what they thought about me? They don't matter. When you walk into a store, people don't care what you are doing there. So, when you first leave your house, go with a purpose/a mission. After you get some practice in, you feel so free. You'll never question whether or not you have to justify your presence to ANYONE. Meandering never felt so liberating. I know it sounds silly, but it worked for me.

It, also, helps if you are doing something for someone else. I don't know why, but it was always easier for me to get out of my comfort zone if it was in service for someone with greater needs than my own.