Self destruct

My head seems stuck on self destruct mode right now. All I can think about are things that are damaging. Cutting, drinking, overdose. Anything. It’s like a need that I can’t seem to silence. I don’t even get why I’m struggling like this right now.

I don’t really know the answer. Or what I want from this. Just need to get it out.

((((whisperingskye))))

I get you, friend. Know that I'm here for you.

Do you go see a therapist? Do you use any other method to cope?
A therapist can help you find out what is causing you to turmoil from inside

I don’t have a therapist currently. When I have seen one in the past I never seemed to get anywhere with it. It feels like I’m just going round and round in circles.

I don't know a solution but just wanted to say I can completely relate to how you feel, and also how therapy feels like going in circles. I have a therapist, but other than the relief of being able to talk to someone, I don't feel like it's really making me any better.
I hope the pain gets better soon. Hugs.

Where do you want to go?

I just want to get to a stage where I can cope with life without resorting to unhealthy things. It feels like it’s never gonna happen. I’m just constantly self destructing.

It usually takes one step at a time, nothing that can be done in a snap
For example if you drink too much, it takes time to take care of that habit, and then the next one

I can relate too to what feels like therapy going round in circles. I’m not sure what school of therapy the therapist you consulted belonged to? (As in humanistic, etc..).

Was the therapist very prescriptive?

Did you feel they were “creative” with their listening etc?

Did you feel they cared about you as a person?

Maybe some questions to ask yourself or the therapist, I don’t know, I’m not an “expert”

Honestly I never really knew what school they belonged to, or what their approach was. Therapy is confusing for me, I guess I don’t really get how it works or helps.

My head is screaming at me. It’s telling me self destruction is the ONLY way. I’m struggling to cope with this ****.

That’s the problem with therapy - it’s a free market
Don’t worry about therapy. Find a way to live life the best way you can

Is there any way to change the channel? Take that self-destruction and utilize it to work on something. Reorganizing your room, doing some yard work, work out, write, anything.

I agree, I try to change the channel, sometimes it helps.

It sounds to me like the N.S with their limited vocabulary aren’t helping much.

I struggle to put that energy into other things. I think part of the issue is that it seems to be worse at night, and so it’s hard to do active things as it would disturb my parents. And it would be dangerous to go elsewhere. I mostly just try to distract myself with series on netflix while my cat sits with me. If she is on my lap I’m much less likely to act on the urges.

Is it a normal thing to constantly want to self destruct?

It is for some. I think that after enough suffering, a person grows accustomed to the feeling and then need to hold onto it, somehow, because it's their normal.