Fixing people..

Do you see yourself as being able to, or wanting to, help to “fix” or change others?

If you were in a “therapy group” including online, what role would you be in...”parent/knowledgeable and possibly caring “helper” or someone wanting to be able to discuss things, or someone who....

I wish I knew what to say in group. I usually sit quietly but wish I was more supportive

I don't believe that I can "fix" anyone, considering I don't believe anyone is really broken. If it's up to my preference, I prefer to help over being helped. Helping others does help me in small ways. I like seeing people get better, seeing them improve and eventually smile. I've considered going into psychology just for that reason.

How about you, Fuzzy?

I agree, I don’t believe I can “fix” anyone either (as I too don’t think of people being “broken” usually)

Helping/supporting others does help me too (in small ways)

I’m not sure what role I’d be in in a “formal” therapy group, I’d probably try to help others and hide in my cave mostly about my stuff.

A therapist said to me about a therapy group they wanted me to join

“This group would help you find out what makes you anxious and what makes you angry”
(Or something like that )

I later found out it was a “difficult” group (his words)

I think you’d be a great psychologist

???

I'll leave the "therapy" to therapists.
I'm here as a fellow-sufferer.

It may help to focus one's attention on another person's experience, try to understand, and offer possibly related experiences.

(((((((( Rohag ))))))))

You’re very supportive and helpful here

(((((( Teddy Bear ))))))

It can be hard to know what to say. Maybe Rohag’s suggestion might help in the group There’s nothing wrong with sitting quietly

I've not yet had an opportunity to do therapy & TBH, the group part tends to fire up a certain amount of my social anxiety - that said, insomuch as I may relate to traits & experiences of others in the group, I'd probably try to help with whatever I've learned from my own journey. That & realizing that my own experiences are likely shared with others could be quite cathartic. Initially, I'd almost certainly just sit & observe, until I decided how things felt to me.

Aside from the social anxiety bit, I also wonder if I might end up helping others to avoid dealing with my own stuff. I might also be a bit prone to finding myself overwhelmed by hearing others experiences & backing away.

I don't believe in fixing people. But, if someone posts that they are in a situation where they are currently unhappy, I will encourage to look at possible solutions to change the situation or to change the mindset. So when I see someone hurting, I like to look at constructive action that could be taken. That is how I like to deal with my issues as well.

Of course, some members prefer to vent and are not ready to take that step. They are hurting but not ready to even attempt to let go of that hurt. That's fine too, but I always appreciate the heads up when that is the case. It can be disheartening to type out a thoughtful reply only to have it put down or ignored completely.

Oftentimes I'll have no good suggestions because I have no experience or can't relate. During those times I'll offer a hug and just an acknowledgement that I'm listening.

So to summarize, I don't believe in "fixing" people, but rather working on changing life situations that may be making us unhappy.

I don't think anyone can fix someone else. For me, I hate a formal in person group.
The T always wants to mix in several totally neurotic folks who want to dominate the talk about totally redundant stuff, and (I guess...) he hopes that makes the rest of us so crazy that we feel miraculously healed so we don't have to come back. I like the discussions here though, and if it's for someone else, I'm behind it. just not for myself...