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OblivionIsAtHand
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Default Apr 05, 2018 at 01:00 AM
  #1
This is yet another attempt to stay alive. I figure if one thread fails I go on and make another. The problem is:

(1) I require answers and information. 2) I am fearful of asking questions (at least outside of a therapist's office) now due to the extent I've been mocked for questions. So, (3) I can't receive the information that I need because of the fear of asking questions and the limitations that internet search engines provide. (4) I am so skeptical of information due to the extent of biases, falsehoods, and other information that poses as truth. And it's hard to determine a way of validating this information; all this further complicates things---in addition to the bitterness that I receive from asking these questions. Needless to say, yes, sometimes intuition can guide me. (5) My problems are so abstruse and complicated that I have an abundance of questions. (6) My lack of ability to articulate things makes it harder to ask these questions. (7) It's hard to determine where I should be asking these questions, as there's a dearth of professionals in matters related to Psychology on forums like this. (8) As stated, the stuff I talk about is multi-tiered with many different angles, and thus I have to type about a lot. Can't just be concise--only occasionally can I be this way. So, indeed, others will malign you for a lack of knowledge, but they are practically never nice in sharing this knowledge. So it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario. (9) My problem involves a lot of explaining. It used to be much easier when I knew there were readers out there who would answer things no matter the length. This lack of being concise started off as something small and now it has become the focal point of my problems. It has become one of my problems of a great many, but it is currently the most damning.
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Heart Apr 05, 2018 at 12:59 PM
  #2
Wow, it seems you have felt very judged for having/asking questions?

Yes, forums do have some limitations, for sure.

Please forgive me if you've already addressed this -- I am having concentration issues today, but wanted to reply to your thread -- Do you see a therapist?

It can be challenging to sort out multi-layered issues; yet, it is possible.

I hope you find an avenue which helps you to feel okay about asking questions and okay about sorting through things.


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Default Apr 05, 2018 at 01:02 PM
  #3
Your title grabbed my attention (Not in a negative way). I’ll just say I’m here and listening and am not a fan of judgemental A holes. (Feel free to not acknowledge this post, I’m here trying to stay alive also )

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Default Apr 05, 2018 at 08:40 PM
  #4
There's nothing wrong with a long & detailed post & such a post isn't necessarily non-concise - what matters is the information contained therein, which you articulated well, IMO.

That said, I suspect that majority of folks present on forums such as this, only carry the expertise of their own personal experiences & come here seeking the experience (& camaraderie) of others who've been down similar paths. A detailed question will tend to reduce the proportion of readers who've shared the same experience & therefore feel that they have something to contribute. There's also the factor that readers are likely dealing with their own issues & may find themselves overwhelmed by questions that are complex. Doesn't make the question any less valid, but is likely to reduce the number of folks who feel that they can directly relate.& provide insight for it.
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Default Apr 05, 2018 at 09:20 PM
  #5
I agree that people are generally selfish and think of themselves. I'm one of them. I'd also like to think that I could care about someone I can't picture, or know, and only read words on a page and try to guess what kind of help that person needs.
That makes me feel extremely cautious on a forum like this when someone is in great distress and says that they are close to suicide.

Just writing this, makes me unsure of whether to post or not. Every word we speak, every action we take, has an affect on another human being. I'm human. Imperfect. You're human. Imperfect. Can you possibly begin by accepting that you can strive to be better, or give up and be like what you see in the world (selfishness, greed, etc.) or just be you? Imperfectly perfect. That's all any one us are.

Can you accept help? Can you please ask one of the questions you have, directly, so someone, if not myself, can answer it? Thank you for reading.

I've just re-watched a movie someone reminded me of a while ago when I struggled with my own demons. Moonstruck, it's an oldie, but I think it is good. Have as best a night as possible.
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OblivionIsAtHand
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Default Apr 06, 2018 at 08:08 PM
  #6
Quote:
Please forgive me if you've already addressed this -- I am having concentration issues today, but wanted to reply to your thread -- Do you see a therapist?

It can be challenging to sort out multi-layered issues; yet, it is possible.

I hope you find an avenue which helps you to feel okay about asking questions and okay about sorting through things.
Thank you very much for that, Wild Coyote. Means a lot. I have been seeing a therapist (this is my 7th or 8th, can't remember), but can no longer due to money issues and the therapy generally started to become unhelpful. If I ever get SSI, I'm torn on whether I should see her again or not. At first she was a great therapist.

Yes, I hope I can find that avenue too. They're a little better about answering questions over on these forums, especially as this thread demonstrates - they're nicer over here by and large - but it's not always without judgment.
Quote:
Your title grabbed my attention (Not in a negative way). I’ll just say I’m here and listening and am not a fan of judgemental A holes. (Feel free to not acknowledge this post, I’m here trying to stay alive also )
I thank you for that fuzzybear. The sentiment is mutual.

Quote:
A detailed question will tend to reduce the proportion of readers who've shared the same experience & therefore feel that they have something to contribute. There's also the factor that readers are likely dealing with their own issues & may find themselves overwhelmed by questions that are complex. Doesn't make the question any less valid, but is likely to reduce the number of folks who feel that they can directly relate.& provide insight for it.
Right, and I've certainly guessed the same. It's just that my inability to be concise regularly is holding me back. One person referred to it, on another thread as a "huge sprawling block of self pity." (they're not THAT much nicer over here) There's really not another way that I can write without undergoing some massive overhaul. I'm having to tackle what feels like a labyrinth of information. I'm not sure how I can compromise less--it always makes me angry when someone comments on the one thing that I did not preemptively mention in my post, so I double on that to prevent such things happening.

Quote:
I agree that people are generally selfish and think of themselves. I'm one of them. I'd also like to think that I could care about someone I can't picture, or know, and only read words on a page and try to guess what kind of help that person needs.
I'm not sure where I explicitly said I thought people are generally selfish and think of themselves, but that is indeed something I'd say. Maybe you read another post of mine?

You see, and that makes ME cautious when you state "I'm one of them".

Quote:
Can you accept help? Can you please ask one of the questions you have, directly, so someone, if not myself, can answer it?
Sure, absolutely. But bear in mind I might ask questions about your assertion. And this is not to be mean, or because I'm arguing. Some poster last night was mad at me playing skeptic and wrote this off as eschewing advice. I, like with everything, want to make sure it's logical and reasonable. It is not biting the hand that feeds you.

Well here's some I had the other day: And some added questions unrelated to this: are we allowed to post a limited number of threads on this forum? I find that I am often bursting with questions psychologically-related. But I don't want to exceed so many questions so as to annoy; I'd consolidate all of my questions into one thread but I'm afraid that it would be overlooked more because of that. Does anyone know of a forum or site where psychologists/professionals in the field of mental health actually frequent the forum (I'm well aware of sites like Quora, but you're limited in your characters on that site.)? Are there other psychology forums where posters respond more readily and abundantly? Where can I ask generalized questions (in which forum I mean to say) that may lead to debate, where it isn't forbidden?

Quote:
I've just re-watched a movie someone reminded me of a while ago when I struggled with my own demons. Moonstruck, it's an oldie, but I think it is good. Have as best a night as possible.
Yes I know it well. "You have such a head for knowing!"

Last edited by OblivionIsAtHand; Apr 06, 2018 at 08:36 PM..
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Default Apr 07, 2018 at 09:18 AM
  #7
Ok. Well, I did read your other post. That is where the "everyone is selfish" statement comes from. I'd like to think I'm not selfish, but the reason I said "I'm one of them", is that it is a part of being human. We all HAVE to be selfish, if we constantly gave and gave of ourselves (which I think in the past I had a habit of, thinking that my giving to someone else actually made a difference, and tried not to expect anything in return), made ME bitter. If a mother doesn't care for her own needs, it doesn't help her children does it. It's like the old saying "if the plane is going down, who's oxygen mask do you put on, your own(the moms), or your childrens?" We have to put our own on in order to be alive long enough to help our kid.
So your questions,
No, you're not limited to how many or how often you post on any of this forum or subforums. There does seem to be a limit to how long a post is, but honestly I once recall seeing someone post at least 10 times the length of your other recent post in the depression forum. So, you can refer to the Community help and feedback sub-forum for any questions I can't answer.

I'm not here for any selfish reasons or a thanks from you. I would truly like to help you get out of the hell you feel you are in.

I don't know of any forums myself, that are out there with real psychologists or proffesionals, this site is strictly just regular people helping people.

Generalized questions can be asked in the "Questions and Answers" sub forum. I think it's called that. I'm tired this morning and that is as much as I can help right now. I again ask you to please go ahead and try to relate what your looking for answers for. You are anonymous here, and people can be kind here. I've had plenty of help here from nice members.
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Default Apr 07, 2018 at 12:49 PM
  #8
You obviously have an active mind and have many questions. I’m sorry someone branded you as a huge block of self pity. Try to keep in mind that we’re not professionals and have our own issues to deal with. Something you said evidently triggered them.

When I started reading your post I thought “oh goody! Questions!” I love to think and debate. Got a little disappointed when you limited your questions to “where can I ask questions?” I’m not familiar with websites that can answer you questions, especially since I don’t know what they are.

Maybe you could try asking 1 or 2 questions at a time. You can ask questions here. It’s just the risk is that someone may have some kind of reaction that hurts you. Keep trying to stay alive. Leave no stone unturned.

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