[MtnTime2896]

I found a little relief but it's controversial (what isn't anymore).

I've been smoking weed nearly everyday at least once a day for the past month. Here's the pros I've felt:

1. It's a bit easier to get up and get things done.
2. I don't feel so worn down after I'm done with my objectives.
3. I actually have a sex drive (thank god for both me and my fiance since it had been 8 months).
4. I'm able to focus on reading again (still having a hard time writing, though).
5. It's easier for me to be around people.
6. It gets me out of my head for a little while.

Here are the cons:

1. My paranoia is worse.
2. Hallucinations are more vivid and it's a little harder for me to tell if they're real or not.
3. When I don't have it, I go right back to misery.
4. I'm more likely to have flashbacks.

Things that haven't changed:

1. Still suicidal (I don't think that will ever change).
2. I still feel hopeless.
3. I still can't tell anyone how bad it all is.
4. I'm still going in and out of irritability.
5. I still feel the need to escape.

Back when I was smoking a few years ago, it helped a lot. Then, I quit because my doctor told me to and then I began my ever annoying task of trying new meds. Antidepressants have never helped me and have all had bad side effects including sending me into a psychotic spiral. I can't afford ECT and my insurance won't cover it. What do you guys think? Should I keep experimenting with weed and give up my search for a med combo, or should I do both, or should I quit smoking and find the "right" meds?

I personally have both. I take psych drugs and I have a prescription for marijuana. It all works in harmony to keep me balanced. I would say continue using pot if it helps, but don't give up your med search.

[Humpty Dumpty]

To me the cons of smoking far outweigh the pros. Frankly some of those cons frighten me. I think you should search for a better med combo or some other type of holistic approach.

[MickeyCheeky]

I think smoking weed might help you in the short run, but I'm afraid of what it might do to you in the long run. If you don't want to give it up entirely, I'd suggest to reserve it for when you feel really down (possibly not when you have hallucinations).

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I found a little relief but it's controversial (what isn't anymore).

I've been smoking weed nearly everyday at least once a day for the past month. Here's the pros I've felt:

1. It's a bit easier to get up and get things done.
2. I don't feel so worn down after I'm done with my objectives.
3. I actually have a sex drive (thank god for both me and my fiance since it had been 8 months).
4. I'm able to focus on reading again (still having a hard time writing, though).
5. It's easier for me to be around people.
6. It gets me out of my head for a little while.

Here are the cons:

1. My paranoia is worse.
2. Hallucinations are more vivid and it's a little harder for me to tell if they're real or not.
3. When I don't have it, I go right back to misery.
4. I'm more likely to have flashbacks.

Things that haven't changed:

1. Still suicidal (I don't think that will ever change).
2. I still feel hopeless.
3. I still can't tell anyone how bad it all is.
4. I'm still going in and out of irritability.
5. I still feel the need to escape.

Back when I was smoking a few years ago, it helped a lot. Then, I quit because my doctor told me to and then I began my ever annoying task of trying new meds. Antidepressants have never helped me and have all had bad side effects including sending me into a psychotic spiral. I can't afford ECT and my insurance won't cover it. What do you guys think? Should I keep experimenting with weed and give up my search for a med combo, or should I do both, or should I quit smoking and find the "right" meds?

In my opinion you should quit smoking, but gradually and not all at once coz otherwise it's going to give you withdrawal symptoms, and find the right med combo.
Anti-drepressants generally help with the pros you are feeling when you smoke weed. One of my anti-depressants sent me to a psychotic spiral too but not all anti-depressants would lead to psychosis. For me only a particular one did, an SNRI. I m more tolerant to SSRIs like sertraline and paroxetine, I guess.
TMS is good too I have heard but its expensive I guess and I can't go for it. I won't advise ECT. I m simply not comfortable with the memory lapses it brings about after a few sessions or so as I have heard.
Weed smoking is going to lead to psychosis - one more serious than an anti-depressant can induce. That's what I think.
Hugs to you.