[introspectiveme]

I don’t want to end things cause I’ll end up causing suffering

I don’t want to live, I don’t even want to exist. I never asked for this. I get it I’m lucky to be born and all that

What do I do ? Every new day it’s the same thing. It just sucks I sleep until I get up and then sleep again hoping I don’t wake up

I have done everything I needed to do, I was depressed but I graduated from college, I got a job that pays well, I help people I know, I give money away to people that need it

Other than depression and anxiety, I don’t know what other issues I have that’s making me feel this way. Just the other day, I asked my mom if she’d support me if I’d get diagnosed by something scary (to her) and she said yes, so there’s that going for me

When will things get better or When will it just end ?

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. You asked when things get better. I'm afraid the only way things are likely to get better for you is if you make them happen... which probably means pursuing some sort of mental health services... therapy, psych med's, etc.

From what you wrote, it sounds like you've done a lot of things right. This is to be celebrated! Unfortunately it has not been enough. I don't know what types of mental health services are available to you where you live, what services you're currently receiving, or have received. But, at least from my perspective, finding mental health services, or perhaps finding more appropriate mental health services, is going to be the answer to your struggle.

You mentioned the possibility that you may have some condition in addition to depression. That is certainly a possibility I would suppose. But I don't know that it is necessarily the case. Depression itself can be a serious condition & is certainly capable of causing the suffering you're enduring. I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find the mental health services you need in order to heal.

[introspectiveme]

I need better help, all I have experienced so far is therapy and talk. It just doesn’t seem right to me

I’ll see what else I can do. I hate the “shaming” I get for admitting I may have some mental issues

Some friends call me weak others have even called me a psychopath for being sensitive or emotional. Makes no sense, read a book, people around me. It’s a cultural thing, and if you’re a male, you’re pretty much screwed unless you get help without telling anyone