What is so wrong with me

I really don't understand what is so wrong with me. I made a friend and all of a sudden, and I don't know why, she stops talking to me. I help people when they are in need. Then, they only get in touch when they need something. Even my family does the same thing.

Things got a lot worse when I became disabled, 9 years ago and being diagnosed with C-PTSD at a different time. Being a veteran has even brought it's own challenges. I get called broken, useless, ugly, crazy, you name it. I wear a veteran hat and I've been spit on more than once, called a murder, and even had a woman call me a "paid killer".

I know I'm not anyone special, and certainly not perfect. I just wish I understood what is so horrible about me that causes people to treat me this way. I've been alone for 10 years now. Being alone is fine, but the loneliness really sucks. I'm at my wits end trying to see why people treat me so poorly, and it's been for most of my life as well.

I'm sorry you're still having to deal with so much. Since I haven't heard from you in so long, my hopes were that you had found some form of peace. Vent to me anytime, my friend.

I appreciate it. Good to see you on here as well. I doubt I will find peace honestly. Each time I think I find it, it disappears. Will always have my cat though.
Things haven't been exactly pleasant either. Had a mini stroke in December. Still here though.

I was almost in tears reading your post . It seems like you have been through so much and been treated so poorly . Seems like you are good to people and a nice person . I am so upset that nice people go through so much pain. I wish I new how to help or had some good advice .

I'm so sorry misinformed, misled people make it a cause to insult our veterans. You have my support. Anytime you need to talk PM me if you want.

Appreciate it everyone. One of the big problems with PTSD is isolating. Kinda hard not to isolate when people act the way they do. I know I am no one in the great scheme of things. All of you know as well as I do, how people are now. The old ways (respect, kindness, caring, compassion) seem to be fading away. I'm only 44, but I've seen a lot and the world is a difficult place. Sure there are good people, however, I tend to think they really don't want to be found anymore.

I've said this same thing to myself so many times. I know there have to be good people out there, but because this world is so cruel I think they hide because they've been hurt so much by the not nice people.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I come from a military family, all Navy men, and luckily none of them have had such an issue so I wonder if it's whatever part of the state you're in (I'm from Michigan too), perhaps you're just in a military intolerant area. I also knew a guy who I worked with in retail and he had PTSD, but was such a nice guy, one of the few people there who was nice to me.

Thank you for your service.

Thanks, and thank you for your family's sacrific. I'm a ten year Army veteran. I live near Kalamazoo, not far from a VA hospital. You would think it would be an understanding area. Unfortunately it's not the case. Honestly don't know what the problem is. In all honesty, my soul has been tired for so long, the tired and sad parts feel like they are turning to ice. Just trying to survive now. Living isn't possible it seems.