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  #1  
Old Nov 12, 2007, 06:11 AM
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To endure this pain from day to day
shows a weak person in every way
cant help myself, too weary yet
The words of support I wont forget
A light from within, is what I need
need to find the switch, plant a seed.
I envy those of faith some days
If only like you I had religious ways.
Someone to comfort me through these times
Somewhere to go when the church bells chime....
Was never raised that way you see
In my house God wasn't to be....
Here is the soul of mental corruption
pressing the buttons to self destruction.
Tears wont fall, I'm running on empty
numbness, well, of that there's plenty.
maybe I am just a lost cause
soon to be taken by satans claws.....
Time to live, time to die
so often now I wonder why....
I'm still here causing so much trouble
My family need more than this pile of rubble.

totally and utterly hopeless, worthless, useless, selfish, weak,
waste of space........

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  #2  
Old Nov 12, 2007, 06:38 AM
moodyblu moodyblu is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2006
Posts: 924
To endure day to day...shows me a person of spiritual strength. You have a strong will to see this through. Because of this...you will endure to get better.
It says in the scriptures that God can hear our prayers...even if they are but "groans and utterances" of pain that are not discernable by human ears. [Romans 8-26,27] This means everyone's...no-one is better than anyone else here.
I pray you are comforted today in your quest for truths and answers. I pray for relief for you. Take care dear Kerry...
d.
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  #3  
Old Nov 12, 2007, 09:08 PM
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((((((((dan))))))))

I can always rely on you dear friend to make me feel better. Somewhere, somehow a light went on for me today. I feel more positive and more relaxed than I have in a long time.

I send such care and warm hugs to you my darling friend, I wish you happiness and positivity always and will never be able to thank you enough for the goodness you have shown me during the last few weeks.....

God bless you Dan, I love you so much,,,,,Jinny xxxxxx   ................   ................   ................   ................   ................
  #4  
Old Nov 12, 2007, 11:22 PM
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recluse1 recluse1 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,156
(((((((((jinn-jinn))))))))))) sorry you are feeling so down hunni. dont be so hard on yourself love. i wish the reflection you saw in the mirror could be how i see you. you are warm and sweet, gentle, and kind. always a blessing to me, my sweet friend. i hope you feel better soon.
  #5  
Old Nov 13, 2007, 02:44 PM
nowheretorun nowheretorun is offline
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Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
i agree   ................
  #6  
Old Nov 13, 2007, 07:15 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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  #7  
Old Nov 13, 2007, 07:25 PM
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my appreciation of you all is beyond only words......

For some reason, this week I feel different and my pdoc said the same. She thinks I am actually getting to know ME. For the first time in 43 years....I am becoming more assertive with my husband and in return he is changing too, he keeps sending me such lovely little notes, e.mails. He wrote " you have been through so much %#@&#! in your life, but %#@&#! helps things to grow and you have grown into a lovely person" well, I cried.....and gave him a big hug and sent him an e.mail back (he has a different account to me)telling him I loved him and a big red heart.
We used to do this all the time, it's like something happened and I dont know what, maybe it's just me healing and getting stronger.....We seem to be functioning so much better as a family for saying I wanted to leave so bad last week. How fickle I am lol.

anyway, I just want to thank you for being here and putting up with me and my paranoid ways and moaning and groaning all the time...

love you all, Jin xxxxxx   ................   ................   ................   ................   ................   ................   ................   ................
  #8  
Old Nov 13, 2007, 09:30 PM
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recluse1 recluse1 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,156
((((((jinny)))))))) so glad things are getting better for you. may your road ahead only get smoother.

love ya
recluse1
  #9  
Old Nov 14, 2007, 12:59 PM
nowheretorun nowheretorun is offline
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Posts: 12,724
smiles....   ................ beautiful ...
  #10  
Old Nov 14, 2007, 02:56 PM
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  ................thankyou so much for everything....cant thank you enough

tace care everyone.....Love jinny XXXXX
  #11  
Old Nov 14, 2007, 03:03 PM
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jacq10 jacq10 is offline
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(((((((((((((((Jinny)))))))))))
I hope you're feeling better...
  ................
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The unexamined life is not worth living.
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  #12  
Old Nov 15, 2007, 03:01 PM
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thankyou sweetie, I hope you are doing better too, it's a rollercoaster right now, swings and roundabouts. I know I will be better, just enduring the bits inbetween......

love you, Jinny xxxxxx
  #13  
Old Nov 15, 2007, 04:43 PM
nowheretorun nowheretorun is offline
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Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
you inspire me...   ................   ................   ................
  #14  
Old Nov 15, 2007, 05:25 PM
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justpassingby justpassingby is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: FLORIDA
Posts: 139
Hi Jenny,

  ................ I hope your day is better, it's raining here in Florida. I still hope you can find all the sunshine to brighten your day. Just thinking of you and wanted to say I care.   ................ We can fight this battle together and be strong for each other.
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  #15  
Old Nov 16, 2007, 10:09 AM
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thankyou peeps, love you all, just know I am up and down and wish i could be on a level sometimes grrrrr

love, Jin xxxxx
  #16  
Old Nov 16, 2007, 10:35 AM
Mystry Mystry is offline
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((((jinnyann))))
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