[circles5]

Hi. Sorry I just need to get this out.

I'm getting quite down.
I have BDD, OCD + Avoidant personality disorder. And went through childhood emotional neglect.

I'm completely isolated. I have friends but I avoid seeing them... I haven't had any treatment for my AVPD as I only got diagnosed yesterday.
So that reduces my support network to my family.

Both my parents have personality disorders and are alcoholics.
My sister has serious issues. God knows what but I've cut her out of my life as she's vindictive cruel and doesn't appear to care if I live or die.


My father is a sadistic malignant narcissist. I for some reason don't have the heart to cut him out of my life even though he's the main reason I'm so unwell.

Asides from cbt for my anxiety disorders
My strategy to deal with all of this has been drugs and alcohol. Meds don't work for me...
I recently quit drinking. So now I'm facing this all with Crystal clarity - not even remotely beneficial to me. I just want to be passed out drunk drugged. Anything but this.

I have no food in. I'm housebound. Im hungry but don't care enough about myself to remedy it.
I don't have any hope today. Everything feels futile.
I'm not even angry. Just resigned.

[mote.of.soul]

Hang in there please circles5, it's a tough situation to find your life to be in, as I can relate to a few aspects of it. Keep reaching out circles5, and don't give up trying to adapt and grow. First thing - try to get food, it will give you a bit of energy and strength, some positivity to keep pressing on. You can do it, don't lose the hope please.

[circles5]

Thanks for the message. It was very welcome at the time.
Sorry i didnt get back to you ive been just getting by.

I do feel more positive than when i wrote that. But im pretty isolated and i cant see a way forward (yet.. im geting some intergerative therapy currently)
AVPD + BDD is a terrible combination of mental illnesses

[mote.of.soul]

You're welcome and I fully hear you. Actually, I understand. I haven't been formally diagnosed [social anxiety, yes] but I literally tick all the boxes for AVPD as well. Yes, it's very isolating and very difficult to combat, for me, using say CBT techniques. The only thing that's given me any kind of relief are meds, but only up to a point. Mindfulness helps as well, but I just want it gone. With your therapy there's hope and always cling to the hope and the determination that you can beat these things.

How are you going today circles5?