[woe-be-gone]

I don't know what I'm doing here. There's just this nagging voice at the back of my head that desperately needs some attention even though I feel like hiding myself away in a corner of the world.

I mean, I really can't be bothered. I get why I should be bothered. I understand that I need to try because I'm an important little unique part of this large intricately woven tapestry of life and it means something...something in the grand vision of life. I get that being this unique little part is an important thing...but you know what, I don't want to be. I really don't want to be this little unique part. I want someone to just take these reigns from me so I don't have to keep doing this. I don't care about how this goes. I don't care about where this goes. I just don't want to be in control of it. See that's the thing I can't seem to find any support for. That's the thing I want to cry out for help and get attention for...I want someone to just take away my control. But everyone that helps and wants to help...they keep telling me of all the freedom I have and the various options I could go down. I don't want to know wany of that. That's all effort. That I don't want to be bothered with. I don't want to keep doing this and I just want to know if there is anyone that can tell me how.

This is all I really think about if I even allow myself to think these days. I spend most of my time escaping in fantasies so I don't have to deal with reality. And I intermittently hold conversations and keep in touch with the most necessary parts of my real world so that I can keep the front of "coping".

I don't even want to be sending this, but I feel like I should.

Originally Posted by woe-be-gone

I don't know what I'm doing here. There's just this nagging voice at the back of my head that desperately needs some attention even though I feel like hiding myself away in a corner of the world.

I mean, I really can't be bothered. I get why I should be bothered. I understand that I need to try because I'm an important little unique part of this large intricately woven tapestry of life and it means something...something in the grand vision of life. I get that being this unique little part is an important thing...but you know what, I don't want to be. I really don't want to be this little unique part. I want someone to just take these reigns from me so I don't have to keep doing this. I don't care about how this goes. I don't care about where this goes. I just don't want to be in control of it. See that's the thing I can't seem to find any support for. That's the thing I want to cry out for help and get attention for...I want someone to just take away my control. But everyone that helps and wants to help...they keep telling me of all the freedom I have and the various options I could go down. I don't want to know wany of that. That's all effort. That I don't want to be bothered with. I don't want to keep doing this and I just want to know if there is anyone that can tell me how.

This is all I really think about if I even allow myself to think these days. I spend most of my time escaping in fantasies so I don't have to deal with reality. And I intermittently hold conversations and keep in touch with the most necessary parts of my real world so that I can keep the front of "coping".

I don't even want to be sending this, but I feel like I should.

I hope you at least feel a little better for getting that out there..

I get it...
Best wishes 🌺

[Skeezyks]

Well... I don't know if I really have anything to offer with regard to this. But I personally feel much the way you do. The thing is... I'm an old man now. And I'm pretty-much thoroughly reclusive... by choice. I don't have any friends or even acquaintances really. I don't even read the newspaper or watch the news on TV for the most part. There's nothing I can do about any of it. So I just don't want to hear it. But, at the same time, I'm here on PC... a lot... I guess even I crave some kind of connection, although even here on PC I pretty-much just do my thing & keep to myself.

The thing is though I can be reclusive because the kindly U.S. government sends me a nice Social Security check every month. So I don't have to work to support myself. If one does have to work to support oneself, it's infinitely more difficult to simply divorce oneself from the world. I know a lot of people think one has to be involved... to be out there doing this-&-that, blah, blah, blah. I don't. I try not to tie up any more resources than I need to in order to live. (This wasn't my idea to begin with that I know of.) And I stay out of other peoples' way. As far as I'm concerned that's enough.

So, anyway, I don't know as I can tell you how to divorce yourself from all of the things society tells you you ought to be doing. But I certainly understand the desire. And I wish you well...