[Rose76]

I am very depressed. This evening I am breaking down crying. This started last evening when my boyfriend asked "What's for dinner?" I accused him of being too demanding and not appreciating me. He is not demanding. I just get tired of caregiving. I get like this every so often. It always blows over and I get back to feeling okay. I go for spans of time feeling quite good. Then the bottom falls out.

The kitchen's a mess since yesterday. If I go clean it up, I probably will feel better. Maybe that one doctor was right who said years ago that I am bipolar. It's like I'm two different people. I feel so awful. I probably will get over it. But it keeps happening. Will I be this way for the rest of my life.

When I'm down like this, I blow up at my boyfriend beyond what is understandable.

Tomorrow I go to my PCP to ask for more pain medication. I doubt she'll agree to order me more.

I have nowhere to go but here.

[Rose76]

I made myself something to eat and poured a glass of wine to go with it. Halfways through this meal I feel a lot less distressed. I tend to forget that skipping meals does awful things to my mood. When feeling very down, I tend to lose interest in eating. I feel like I'm not hungry when my body really is.

I did the dishes before making myself something to eat. That was a big hurdle to get over. Maybe I'll be alright in a while.

Originally Posted by Rose76

I am very depressed. This evening I am breaking down crying. This started last evening when my boyfriend asked "What's for dinner?" I accused him of being too demanding and not appreciating me. He is not demanding. I just get tired of caregiving. I get like this every so often. It always blows over and I get back to feeling okay. I go for spans of time feeling quite good. Then the bottom falls out.

The kitchen's a mess since yesterday. If I go clean it up, I probably will feel better. Maybe that one doctor was right who said years ago that I am bipolar. It's like I'm two different people. I feel so awful. I probably will get over it. But it keeps happening. Will I be this way for the rest of my life.

When I'm down like this, I blow up at my boyfriend beyond what is understandable.

Tomorrow I go to my PCP to ask for more pain medication. I doubt she'll agree to order me more.

I have nowhere to go but here.

Don't ask for more meds or a higher dose. You'll be flagged as a drug seeker and MAY prevent you from the "top shelf" stuff.

I think it's in the air...I'm depressed too but the anger is under control for now.

My ~5 Year old niece called me a freak. I was really hurt by that because no matter what, I'm an awesome uncle.

I'm not happy hearing about your experience right now. I wish I could comfort you with words.

We do just about anything to stop feeling blue, but no matter what you know it even from myself. Don't let depression get in the way of a good thing.

Everyone hates being told what to do or expected to do.

Just thinking about your temper.. maybe you can share more or update psych central when you feel like talking.

Could you be suffering anxiety which is getting you depressed? Just a thought

[Rose76]

I have anxiety at times also. Two days ago I had chest pain from anxiety.

I wake up too early. It's before 5:30 a.m. and I'm already awake.

Being seen as drug seeking does worry me.