Suicide Is Selfish???

I don't get what you mean, 2ISAB? Are you doubting my story?

As I explained I have brain damage, I have flat affect. I have several developmental disorders, and I am not a normal human being to go bursting in tears before thoughts of suicide. I am overdosing on betablockers to I'll end my pain. It's more of an intellectual plan than an emotional one. I've done it before. I have nothing left in me.

Well then what do you expect me/us to say/do?

You're different, not broken. I bet you make great bread.

Nothing. I am posting it because I feel like it. Call it weird, if you will, I don't know what it means either. I am keeping it as a journal.

There's other forums about people like you, in desperation.

Have you tried talking about it on SS ?

I do not know what SS is. Can you please give its full form? I like this forum, I have made some friends here.

If you've made friends here, do you think it's selfless of you doing what you're planning?

I lived selfless for two years. Working hard to be a life saver. Didn't achieve anything.

You have come a long way. You said your dad was a construction worker and it's not the US but India. You must have worked very hard to learn this level of english and some difficult medical terms as well, many of which even I don't know tho I studied psychology in my undergrad. So why are you giving up now? And if you are planning to study medicine and be a doctor you need to be selfless your entire life. It's not easy but that's how it is.
Don't think about that bike and sunglasses now. It's not that appealing even if you think it is. When you become a doctor and start earning you can buy your own car. But first prepare for the medical exam. I saw In your visitor mssgs that some people in PC have given you good advice about how to study before you can buy your books. Like going through the contents and finding out what your strengths and weaknesses are....then working on areas where you are weak etc etc.
Start studying from tomorrow and let me know how you are doing. If you procrastinate it would be more difficult to pass the exam in feb.

I'm not sure I get that reffrence either..

*wonders what bread has to do with this topic*

I like bread! Butter, cheese, jam, toasted, soft...oh, and with garlic and wine...or milk. Yes, bread!

Thank you so much, I attempted suicide last night but nothing happened. I couldn't even sleep after drinking the bottle of betablockers... at the very least I had a taste of alcohol, haha.


Well yes when I think about it I won't get to live as a normal teenager, ever. So I think I should try to be a normal adult. It's very complicated to explain -- and explaining it alone won't do anything -- but all I can hope is they buy me the books and I get to study 'em...

I could be free, from all this. But nothing, even overdosing, seems to work. But I shouldn't think like this, should I?

I love all these kinds too. yummy!

You shouldn't have overdosed. Thank God nothing happened.

Yes it's the right attitude to try to be a normal adult. Please don't look back. Only remember the experience. However bad it is, it may help you deal with tougher things in the future.
Hugs.

Suicide is not that easy. Doing it with pills is especially difficult. I know several people who have tried and failed. Instead of trying that, try to live. Living may be harder, but it's worth it.

Exactly! The idea behind the bread was to lighten up and change topic.

Anyway, it seemed appropriate for the ......

Yeah I had tried 5times till now and failed....it's so embarassing when you get your stomach flushed in the hospital and have to explain things to others.

I am never going to try suicide again in my whole life. It's so messy too...having to be in the ER...then the hospital stay...then recovery...it sucks!

My mother knows I have, but never mentions it.

When I came to (2nd time) the blood had dried and got stuck between me and the blanket.

Very surreal..

Glad to know you're not going to try it again.

I am never going to try it again. That's for sure. I believe that the future holds a lot for me. I m going to be happy with my bf and be able to complete my undergrads and grads, be able to work, have kids etc etc Don't know if I m being too hopeful

scary

Hey man, there's no need to be a **** about it. If you hate me for some reason, like you believing I am a liar (I may as well be as an FBI agent) you can sincerely keep it to yourself. I am going through ton of crap and I never asked for your reply. I swear to every good thing in the universe I've become physically ill due to the events around me. You're acting around me like I've killed your family or something.

"It's a double edged sword if we condone it." Instead of putting it all on the individual like our incredibly individualistic, heartless, and yes stupid society does, why not actually do everything in our power to help and support those who express a wish to end their lives? 80% of people who want to do it tell others. I'll bet they get nothing in the way of support--tell them to go to groups, hospitals, emergency rooms; research it and tell them what's out there. Don't let them face it all alone. It's the feeling of being all alone in life that drives people like me to want to kill ourselves. Society is partly to blame for mental illnesses like depression. It is both the responsibility of the individual and society. Our highly individualistic environment affects us negatively. Being in groups was how humans survived for over 200,000 years. We forget that to our peril. There should be ads on TV telling people who want to hurt themselves, "go to an emergency room right now or hospital! Don't wait! Do it now!" You need someplace to go.

So what you're saying is, Society is wrong and the mentally ill is right?! Ridiculous