[moonperson]

....or have low self-esteem?
That's my biggest fear when getting to really know someone. I'm not sure why. I don't want them to think I'm weird, i guess.

[Candy1955]

Back when depression first hit with me, yes people noticed. They'd ask if I was ok, etc. Now it's just the new normal. They don't ask any more.
Don't be afraid of being authentic when getting to know a new person. But I'd have to say don't rush to fully disclose all your issues, either. Let the two of you grow together and you'll know the right time to tell them more serious problems. Most people have issues too, but they can be more private.

Originally Posted by moonperson

....or have low self-esteem?
That's my biggest fear when getting to really know someone. I'm not sure why. I don't want them to think I'm weird, i guess.

all the time

then again, I can kind of see why

I'm either talking about how my life's gone wrong, or I'm talking about suicide

or my other problems

so it isn't difficult

I can't hide it well

even on the rare ocasions I'm not talking about those subjects, I am always the quiet withdrawn one

[Fuzzybear]

People notice that I’m a bear and run away

[MickeyCheeky]

They don't...

[ShadowGX]

Depends, some people are good at faking it, others are not. I'm only good at faking it to pure strangers, casual friends, and family. I cannot fake to anyone I feel is a "decent" friend and recently I'm having trouble faking it to my mom.

[BreakForTheLight]

Nope....

[PerryJeffJoeJimBob]

Only those I have told know I am depressed. I have put my mask on every day for more than twenty years. Everyone thinks I am always happy and cheerful. All my job evaluations mention how I make everyone happy, tell jokes, and am so cheerful every day. They have no clue to my inner turmoil. I'm a guy, and guys aren't supposed to show their true emotions---it isn't manly. When I go home, relax, and take my mask off, nearly every day I will cry from the exhaustion for 15 minutes or more.

[moonperson]

Originally Posted by PerryJeffJoeJimBob

Only those I have told know I am depressed. I have put my mask on every day for more than twenty years. Everyone thinks I am always happy and cheerful. All my job evaluations mention how I make everyone happy, tell jokes, and am so cheerful every day. They have no clue to my inner turmoil. I'm a guy, and guys aren't supposed to show their true emotions---it isn't manly. When I go home, relax, and take my mask off, nearly every day I will cry from the exhaustion for 15 minutes or more.

Do you think it's better that way? I've always been rather quiet so I don't think I could pull that off. It must get a little tiring.

[moonperson]

Originally Posted by Candy1955

Back when depression first hit with me, yes people noticed. They'd ask if I was ok, etc. Now it's just the new normal. They don't ask any more.
Don't be afraid of being authentic when getting to know a new person. But I'd have to say don't rush to fully disclose all your issues, either. Let the two of you grow together and you'll know the right time to tell them more serious problems. Most people have issues too, but they can be more private.

sounds like great advice! I've known people that openly talk about being depressed or struggling with an ed, and they're lovely and not alienating or anything, but being depressed just makes me feel ashamed somehow. When it first came, I gained weight, stopped talking to friends, and sometimes it makes me feel slow and dumb.

[Chez3]

I hide my depression. Not that well, however, but good enough to the point where people just accept me as cynical.

[littleblackdog]

No. Or maybe they do but they just don't care.

I’m not sure. I can sense when people are sad. I feel it when I am around them. When I walk into a room I feel tension, conflict, sadness, etc. Whatever people have going on I tend to pick up on it. I’ve read it’s an unhealthy coping strategy likely from growing up in a home where I constantly had to gauge the mood and walk on eggshells.

I don’t think we hide things as well as we think we do. I suspect people pick up on things that I think I hide from others. That said, nobody can know the full extent of what another person is going through.

[boomerango]

I agree, Sisabel. I am trying to be more authentic. Being authentic doesn't mean that I have to be "an open book". Sometimes that is not safe.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm pretty good at hiding it. One person I know usually sees through it but most people don't.

[regretful]

Since I work in a small business, people notice it...they can tell the difference in me...the people who I sincerely wish would notice (family of origin) don't seem to notice/care...

Originally Posted by boomerango

I agree, Sisabel. I am trying to be more authentic. Being authentic doesn't mean that I have to be "an open book". Sometimes that is not safe.

I agree It’s not safe to be an open book. I’m certain people pick up on things I think I’m hiding... that doesn’t mean I discuss anything with them. The less said the better in most cases.

They don't notice or if they do they don't care.

I'm used to pretending to be fine.

Originally Posted by whispershadow

They don't notice or if they do they don't care.

I'm used to pretending to be fine.

Sometimes people do feel compassion. Possibly people you don’t even know. Sometimes I say prayers for people who don’t even know it. ❤️

[Blues47]

They do if I stay in one place for too long. And right now I'm several years too long in one place so it's become obvious to almost everyone. The giveaway is that relationships that should have evolved by now have not...I keep a distance that makes sense for a few years but not for twelve years.