Heartache

I'm hurting. Its not depression yet. It's a deep and intense sadness. I am struggling to find words.

Basically this is me having a pity party. I like being the upbeat, energetic optimist I normally am. Instead I can't keep my sadness to myself.

I feel for you. It's OK. We all fall apart sometimes..

Think about the last time you were not so well, how did you escape the depression?

Don't answer that. Keep that one just for yourself.

I'm a little bit rock steady at the moment, but I'm about to pop out to buy some detoxing products because I feel "foggy" from last night's weed festival..

I know you're advocate of advising others to keep posting so me telling you that seems kinda redundant but you're still in control. Let's work on that

BTW: I haven't showered in 4 days. I smell ripe haha
xx

I took a sleeping pill. I think I'm going to cry myself to sleep. Nobody hurts me quite the way I hurt myself.

You are not alonemay tomorrow be a better day.

What about a movie. Something heart wrenching... to motivate you.

I also feel better after a cry and I notice that I'm not so interested in nonsense afterwards. Hence my suggestion to see the movie A.I. with the blue fairy...

"The Blue Fairy is part of the great human flaw to wish for things that don't exist. Or to the greatest single human gift - the ability to chase down our dreams."

Robin Williams voice over...he battled depression for so long.. but his flaw was... his silence.

Please keep talking

Yes. Process those feelings, feel those feelings, and eventually you'll bounce back to your normal self. Nurture your spirit, you'll be okay.

we are all here listening and supporting you.

((((hugs)))))

Hey I've got an idea.
Replace your notifications sound with a beloved Justin Bieber song.

Or this

(((((((( hugs ))))))))

There it is. I knew I had a copy of a painting (digital) that was inspired by "a stary night".

See if you can spot it within these

https://photos.app.goo.gl/WlWfOVRtL028G2X42

I can relate. Sometimes a good cry releases something and then it helps one to feel just a little bit better. Try to get some rest and do something nice for yourself. Keep posting, we are listening.

Thank you all. No tears yet. I'm suppressing. My therapist says I need to let it out, but my mind doesnt want to. Ugh.

You don't have to apologize for your feelings. Your feelings are what they are. We are here for you.

It is hard when even your tears won't give you a little release. I am just learning to cry again after 5 years. I was putting too much pressure on myself.

I have learnt to myself love whether I cry or not.

Never did cry. Well I cried tears of laughter a couple days. The sad tears never came. Maybe it will hit me in time, or maybe I am learning to manage sadness without falling apart.

I'm always worried about another round of depression. I'm terrified I wont survive it. However, this was just sadness and I'm okay.

I'll quote Eminem here.

"'Cause sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak
And when you feel weak you feel like you want to just give up
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that **** out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you want to just fall flat on your face and collapse"

Also, for myself, I motivate myself with various websites and google searches over the internet. I am glad to have support from teachers and relatives. I am not battling just depression, I am battling brain damage and abuse. Not only that, I want to make a living helping people like me.

Thinking of you.

WC

She deactivated her PC account... I am feeling bad.

Same Chem. I hope she's ok. =\ 2nd time too, maybe she'll be back again?

I hope she'll be back soon.

I'm sad she is gone.
I hope she comes back.
Either way, I wish her well.

WC