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#1
Oct 05, 2018, 01:34 AM
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I can't talk to people, not about this anyway.
Not about the fact that when I'm sober I want to die, and when I'm high... I'm at peace with death. Death. It's kinda the common theme here. I keep having issues (or visions) of me speeding down the freeway at 110. I'm not going to detail how it ends. I keep seeing other things like it. Doesn't matter if I'm high or straight, I see it all of the time. Now, at this moment, I'm having a bit of an existential problem. I'm trying to understand why the hell I'm here. Why anyone's here. So few people in this universe of nothing. The universe sees us individually as a tiny millisecond of time. That's it. That's all we are. And yet -- in an ideal world -- we spend that millisecond loving and being loved by someone or something. We put so much of our own value in our existence, like it's something special. Maybe it is. We place value in pain and agony that comes with life. We place value in the beginning and the end of that small life. What if I can't manage to place value in that, for myself... for me? What if I well and truly am not destined to be here and do not belong?
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"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
 Anonymous40127, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Rohag, SlumberKitty, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#2
Oct 05, 2018, 06:11 AM
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We all belong here, even if we don't know why, and you certainly belong here among us, no matter what other people say
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| MtnTime2896, Wild Coyote
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#3
Oct 05, 2018, 11:44 AM
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Good post my friend, thank you for sharing this here. I also agree that you do belong
__________________
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| MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896, Wild Coyote
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 MickeyCheeky, Wild Coyote
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#4
Oct 05, 2018, 01:56 PM
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I agree too. You belong here.
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| MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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| MickeyCheeky
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#5
Oct 05, 2018, 02:37 PM
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Me too! You do belong here!
I have felt that “I don’t belong here” feeling many times. You expressed it with truth. Thank you for posting it and letting me share it with you! We both belong here!
__________________
"What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
| Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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| MickeyCheeky
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#6
Oct 06, 2018, 07:56 AM
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Something else I can't tell anyone...
Possible trigger:
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
| Anonymous40127, MickeyCheeky
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#7
Oct 07, 2018, 01:12 AM
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Quote:
Possible trigger:
Also...
Possible trigger:
I know this may sound impossible, but look at Eminem the reason why I love him so much (despite I don't have exact same views as him), is because he was abused, beaten, outcast to the point of brain damage. (Yes, he does have brain damage) YET he has something like savant syndrome, cause he raps like no other. While yes there are some rappers that may rap faster/have better lyrics/never released a crappy album, they aren't quite Shady. Here is a PsychCentral article on him having bipolar disorder. I cannot help but relate to him. For you, I know it's gonna be real hard and it won't happen overnight, just try your best to beat your depression and don't burn out in the process. Be like Em, destroy your problems and shine... you don't need to have a career, **** career, just have a nice personality and be in less pain. And enjoy life. You do belong here in the universe. 
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| MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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| MickeyCheeky
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#8
Oct 07, 2018, 03:08 AM
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((((Ṣ leigheas))))
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| MtnTime2896
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#9
Oct 08, 2018, 06:12 PM
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(((((Ṣ leigheas))))). I’m sorry you struggle so. I don’t have any words of wisdom but wanted to lend my support. Sending big hugs and supportive vibes.
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| MtnTime2896
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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