[xmascarol]

With all the stuff going on in my life lately I feel so depressed and yes I am crying a lot to. I suppose part of it is because this will be the first holiday season without my mom,among other things, I know I worry a lot and sometimes that actually makes me very depressed. My best friend came to sit with me she sits with me two days a week, she let me hold her hand and said she was here for me. I almost started crying. I feel so sorry for her to because she has some physical problems. I pray all the time asking for God's help but I am not getting anywhere. I feel like I am being punished for having this mental illness. I am sorry if I am a bother to anyone. I try so hard to be normal but I guess that will never happen. I admit it I do worry a lot but that is part of my anxieties sometimes I wish I was a kid again because I never had anxieties sure I was always a nervous person. Then again maybe I did have anxieties when I was in high school many a times I had trouble breathing and swallowing the nurse told me it was my stomach and I have gerd now too also that it was nerves, I can tell you one thing my mom was a very nervous person I often wonder if she had anxieties, Well she is gone now I wish I could bring her my dad and my husband back but we all know that cannot happen, I guess I talked enough ,thanks for listening oh ya May God Bless You All.

[Skeezyks]

I am sorry for what you're going through. Your anxiety is your body's natural response to how you're feeling. Loosing someone in your life that you are close with may be one of the most difficult times you will ever go through. For me, holiday's give me severe anxiety, but I love them anyway. There are so many cheerful things to look at and think about, maybe try to associate a few of those things with memories of your lost family member. The stronger your memories, thoughts and emotions are for your lost loved ones, the stronger their spirit will live on. I wish you the best and most cheerful times through this holiday season. Maybe try taking up a new hobby, something your mother would approve of

[mote.of.soul]

I'm sorry about your mom and the difficult times you're going through, (((xmascarol))) :-(

[Fuzzybear]

[MickeyCheeky]

((((xmascarol)))) You're not bothering anyone here. I'm sorry you're struggling and I'm sorry for your loss.

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

I'm sorry about your mom and the difficult times you're going through, (((xmascarol))) :-(

Thank you ,I love the picture of the cat and dolphin. I love dolphins.

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

((((xmascarol)))) You're not bothering anyone here. I'm sorry you're struggling and I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you how have you been doing??

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Thank you those hugs made me want to cry.I wonder sometimes if I really deserve to be mentally ill.

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by AB2371

I am sorry for what you're going through. Your anxiety is your body's natural response to how you're feeling. Loosing someone in your life that you are close with may be one of the most difficult times you will ever go through. For me, holiday's give me severe anxiety, but I love them anyway. There are so many cheerful things to look at and think about, maybe try to associate a few of those things with memories of your lost family member. The stronger your memories, thoughts and emotions are for your lost loved ones, the stronger their spirit will live on. I wish you the best and most cheerful times through this holiday season. Maybe try taking up a new hobby, something your mother would approve of

Dont laugh but this past weekend I put up my tree and Christmas decorations it made me happy. The lights on the tree always make me smile ,it is a 6 foot tree I love it .Christmas has always been my favorite holiday even when I was a child my mom use to decorate all over inside, me too, she stopped once she got older my son and daughter brought her a tree a couple of years ago she didnt want one she could have cared less not me got to have my tree. I remember one time when my late husband and I laid half way underneath the tree and fell asleep it was so nice to wake up underneath the tree it smelled of Christmas, oh I am also a Christmas Carol ,I mean I was born on Christmas day, so now you know a real Christmas Carol lol

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Thank you for the love and hugs it means so much to me. I am sending you some right back, we all need love and hugs.

[xmascarol]

Just when I thought I was feeling better I broke down completely this morning, I guess having no money in the bank doesnt help any ,I miss my family. I have two beautiful grandchildren a boy who is 8 and a girl who will he 6 soon. I love them both but I never get to see them. I will though when I have to see my shrink in about three weeks. My son is taking me to my doctors I really wish I didnt have to go,but I need my meds,if I can afford them I dont know what I will do if I cannot get my meds any suggestions?

[Sunflower123]

((((( xmascarol )))))

Hopefully you can get your meds. If not, you could ask your pdoc for samples or apply for patient assistance which many pharmaceutical companies have. I hope things start looking up for you. It’s great that you’ll get to see your grandkids. Warm wishes

[MickeyCheeky]

((((xmascarol)))) Let us know how it goes with your meds. I've been doing OK.