[Shaymus]

Im sure this has something to do with the way i was raised. I was never given chores or ever taught how to do things so i feel helpless a lot of the time. Whenever im in a crisis situation i have no idea what to do and if i do i dont have any confidence that its the right thing to do. For instance when my tire blew recently i was with my youngest daughter(17) and i begged her to walk back to the house and get Richard(guy who lives upstairs from us) so he could help me change the tire. If he hadnt been home id probably still be on the side of the road wondering which course of action i should do. I always feel like this in every situation. If someone isnt around to help guide me i just do nothing and wait for when they are. Im 29 years old and am sick of this feeling so badly. I want to be an adult and not feel like im 13 years old anymore. Is this part of depression? Is this something that could concievably get better with therapy?

[dexter]

I think it is never too late to learn things. Depression will make you think you can't learn or that it is not worth learning or that it is just hopeless that you don't know how to do things.

I was very sheltered when I was raised and had to learn to do things on my own... pay bills, balance my checkbook, do laundry, etc.

It may surprize you how much you can learn and what a sense of accomplishment that can be... but never ever feel as if you "should" know everything or anything in particular. While it is good to be able to do things, it is also good to know when and to be able to ask for help when you need it... I think people can get into just as much trouble at either end.

There is no shame at all in asking for help and if you want to learn you can watch as people help you, have them explain it to you, or have them coach you through doing it yourself. Think about tire changing... you could watch and learn how to do it... but it still might be a messy job and you still might want to ask for help if it is available if it should happen again, but if you know how to do it yourself at least you won't feel "trapped" if there is no one to help you.

Sometimes it seems like everyone else knows how to do "basic" things and that we are clueless but that is never the case. I guarantee there are things you know that other people don't. A lot of people wouldn't know how to use a computer and post on these forums for example. Depression can play a big role in making us feel "inferior" because of some things we don't know but they are all just things that we haven't learned yet and don't reflect on our character... much as our depression would want us to believe that.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[gloria]

Put your mind to it and you will learn.
Just be firm with yourself and don't let other things take over your need and desire to become more self suficient.
You can learn anything you want, set your mind to do it.

gab