[12gaugescrewup]

well i really don't know where to start i was severely depressed about 4 years ago due to one of my childhood friends dieing and its got very bad the past 4 years almost all of my friends have died i got 2 left one lives 8 hours away and the other one i'm real close with we talk about any kind of problems we have but the past 4 days has pushed me back into that deep hole of severe depression my life was getting really good for about 3 months i moved out of my grandparents house in with my sister i found out i had a sister 15 years after birth cause our biological mother gave us both up for adoption but me and my bi mom are really close but anyways after i moved in with my sister my life got so bright i met her best friend and a couple weeks later we started dating and its been the greatest relationship i've ever been in about 3 weeks ago i got really drunk ( i drink to much -.-) and my friend took me back home to my sisters house and her ex girlfriend was there (sisters bi) and i dated her ex girlfriend a while ago before i met her bestfriend and of course i was drunk as could be and we made out and all even though my sister told me not to and my girlfriend found out about it at school this past week and life has been hell since so over the 4 days we've broke up and got back together and broke up and got back together and blah blah blah and we are together again right now but shes still not happy with me (she and my sister are at a party right now and i was told by my girlfriend i wasn't invited =\ ) but i've gotten robbed i've had a 12 gauge put to my face and threatened i've gotten hurt i've fell in sewers i've lost money it all kinds of stuff i'm still waiting for my house to burn down but yeah i really don't know what to do with myself right now i'm so ashamed of myself i honestly can't see anything getting better at this point in time i'm back living with my grandparents i hate it here living out in the country so far from town my sister lives back with her dad an hour away i don't really have any friends left around here ugh its been such a rough week i'm not sure if everything i've typed has made since i wish ricky would have pulled the trigger on that shotgun when i told him too it would be such an easier way of dealing with everything

[nowheretorun]

after all that i'd be a little shook up too... the best thing is to have someone nearby to help...

if not that, get yourself to a safe zone and think clearly about your own safety... it would be difficult to help your friends if you're not well yourself...

[bipolar_bear]

I am sorry for all that is happening in your life right now. You sound like you are in a bad place right now emotionally and I hope you find someone to help you through. Please find some help as things will not always be so bleak. I know it does not seem so now but they really will improve. PM me anytime.

BB

[12gaugescrewup]

thanks for your support i really could use it right now

[nowheretorun]

12 guage... have you researched the board more? there are many areas/forums you might find helpful... i'm in and out at work all day, but as did Bipolar Bear... many are willing to lend a helping hand... hope you are in a better place with yourself now... ive been there...