[struggling1]

I've been struggling with depression for over 15 years. I'm taking meds & seeing a psychiatrist. My depression has gotten worst these past 2 years so I've been out of work a lot.

'm still out of work. Don't even know if I'll be reaching the 12 weeks maximum for FMLA coverage. I'm scared to go back. Scared that they will tell me that I'm fired. Hate to go back since my co-workers have been treating me differently; kinda ignoring me. But I need this job! I have a mortgage & 2 kids to support.

My life would go down the drain if I lost my job. It would be the last straw that broke my back. I feel as though I'm losing it. I can't cope any longer. I'm tired of this disease! I'm tired of being tired! Life doesn't have to be this hard! I'm tired of struggling through life! I"m tired of always fighting & clawing my way out of the hole! I'm in the hole right now & can't get out.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! HELP!!!!!

[nowheretorun]

sorry struggling... just saw this... hey, you gotta think positive... seetle out the bumps right now... you can do it..

do you have a therapist? meds.. tell us more so we can help...

[Perna]

Struggling, you have to find out "eventually" and the longer you put it off the worse it becomes. At the moment you're afraid of being afraid because you're imaging what "could" happen. That's a good way to drive yourself nuts :-)

Since you're into imagining, imagine something you want? Imagine people are glad you're back. We tend to see what we look for. Look for your job and for people to be glad you're with them and they don't have to do some of your work?

If you were going to be fired, they would have hired someone for your place; have they done that? Are there new hires doing what you're doing? A business wouldn't fire you first and then start hiring. When I mentioned I was thinking of retiring, my company started interviewing, LOL. They didn't want to be caught without coverage for what I was doing. So unless there's someone sitting in your seat, I'd figure out a schedule where you can return gradually, tell people you've had a debilitating physical illness (true!) but you hope you're better now and take it from there.

[struggling1]

I've been seeing a psychiatrist for 10 years now. Tried different meds. Been taking 225 MG Effexor XR & 50 MG Sertraline HCL (generic for Zoloft) daily. I know I need to see my psychiatrist. Maybe my meds not working anymore? But just can't make myself to get out of the house. Been crying a lot. Losing it. :-(

[nowheretorun]

well, we're in trying times struggling... many are struggling right now... you can find support and encouragement here... Perna's pretty bright... wouldn't have known any of that myself..

but, when we're down we have to reach inside a little more, a little deeper, find extra strength and courage... when times are hard , we need ourself the most... and the little ones i know you're painfully aware of...

hang on.. change occurs... have faith...

[struggling1]

Thanks nowheretorun & Perna-

Yup. I really need to face it. You're right, I've been prolonging the inevitable. My mind has been telling me to get up & get ready, but somehow it just doesn't happen. I end up crying & breaking down. I've been able to get over it in the past, but don't know why I can't now.

[sassypants]

I was worried about losing my job, because of two things.
My supervisor was a witch and I was so depressed that I took a lot of sick days.I took one medical leave due to depression for 6 weeks. In the end, they were about to fire
me, last warning. I lost it, mentally. My doctor put me on
a 8 week medical leave again.I saw a lawyer and I sued my company for harrasement and I won. I have just received my social security d. check, thank God. I really
have been blessed, especially when I thought there was no way out. If you need any suggestions, p.m. anytime.
Wishing you the best.