[Humpty Dumpty]

I heard about this awesome cliff where if you climb upto the top of it you can jump off into the lake far below. Many people have tried it. The only ones that really complained they didn't like it were the ones that didn't do it right or only went up there for the attention. The attention seekers were very few and far between but there were some. Even though it is scary to me I wanted to try it. I climb all the way upto the edge and look out. I can't do it. I'm too scared. So I back away a few steps. No I can do this. I go back to the edge and once again back away because I'm too scared. I have done this a few times now. Most people only know about the 1st time. 1 or 2 know about the 2nd. No one knows about the other times. So I am not one of those doing it for the attention. I am just too much of a coward to follow through. It didn't take bravery to back away. There was no one there pressuring me to do it. So there was simply just cowardness involved. So don't tell me I am brave for even going up there in the 1st place, or brave for backing away. I am and will always be a coward for backing away until the day I jump.

[Humpty Dumpty]

Now substitute cliff for suicide and the lake for death. Has this changed your opinion at all? It shouldn't. Bottom line is the only reason I am still alive is because I am a coward.

[mote.of.soul]

I wouldn't be too harsh Humpty Dumpty. Everyone's afraid of something. Just battle on until mother nature picks the time. (((Hugs)))

[Skeezyks]

My father used to say: "Discretion is the better part of valor..."

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( hugs ))))))))

It's possible that you could break your neck, become paralyzed, and then a quadriplegic. I've known people that it happened to. And they probably didn't go up that far, either, when it happened to them. Better to be safe than sorry. Better to not have regrets when at one moment you were fine and the next paralyzed.

I hope I haven't got you too down on this. I would have been afraid, too, if I were there.

[Humpty Dumpty]

Originally Posted by will19

It's possible that you could break your neck, become paralyzed, and then a quadriplegic. I've known people that it happened to. And they probably didn't go up that far, either, when it happened to them. Better to be safe than sorry. Better to not have regrets when at one moment you were fine and the next paralyzed.

I hope I haven't got you too down on this. I would have been afraid, too, if I were there.

That is one of the biggest things holding me back. What if I screw up & just become even more messed up than I already am.

[IrisBloom]

You backed away from the cliff because you knew there was a good chance of getting hurt or worse. Is that cowardly? I think not. I call it wisdom. Too many times we ignore the danger of our choices and then have regrets.

Climb the cliff. Enjoy the view. But don't step off. Self preservation is a good thing.

Originally Posted by Humpty Dumpty

Bottom line is the only reason I am still alive is because I am a coward.

This is a case where fear is a good thing! Because of fear, you are still here!!! For many, that is a very, very good thing.

What else are you afraid of? When I used to be suicidal, it was because I didn't want to face other things that I am afraid of. Examine what triggers your suicidal thoughts and perhaps you will begin to understand the unconscious fears and cognitive dissonance that drives these wishes.

[mikimostar]

Originally Posted by Humpty Dumpty

That is one of the biggest things holding me back. What if I screw up & just become even more messed up than I already am.

Here it is how I see it.. your survival instinct was stronger! That is the strongest instinct in ourselves.. I only see a person who is suffering and he or she is not able to cope well with symptoms and daily stressors. I do not see a coward or someone who is backing up... You are strong, much stronger than you think.

[Mopey]

I highly recommend Dorothy Parker's poem on suicide, H.D. It contains some variations on the above themes....

[mountainstream]

[Humpty Dumpty]

Originally Posted by Nowinners

What else are you afraid of? When I used to be suicidal, it was because I didn't want to face other things that I am afraid of. Examine what triggers your suicidal thoughts and perhaps you will begin to understand the unconscious fears and cognitive dissonance that drives these wishes.

It's not fear that has me suicidal. It is extreme sadness. I don't know what's making me sad. And as dumb as that sounds it makes me even sadder.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Humpty Dumpty

It's not fear that has me suicidal. It is extreme sadness. I don't know what's making me sad. And as dumb as that sounds it makes me even sadder.