[MtnTime2896]

"I'm so sorry I forgot you, let me catch you up to speed. I've been tested like the ends of a weathered flag that's by the sea. Can you build my house with pieces? I'm just a chemical...." ('Chlorine')

I've been away for a minute and have been seeking no counsel in the absence of coming here. It hasn't done me very good. I'm slipping deeper than I've been in a while. My dog hardly leaves my side, I think she's worried. She only does this when she gets worried. These things are in my head, their hooks firmly attached to my brain, pulling it every which way it so chooses. I'm not sure what 'it' is. At times I'm hopeless beyond reason and have accepted my fate. Other times, I'm simply anxious but not so simply rational and paranoia sets in.

"I am not as fine as I seem!" ('Migraine') Hallucinations have been seemingly nonstop for two days now. Sometimes they're running rampant, other times they're as subtle as the roach that just slipped under the cable -- I barely noticed it in time to register. It's gotten to that point, though; that point where I'm not sure if the roach was real or not. Just like I'm not sure if my arm has been replaced with a robotic one. Don't get me wrong, I understand it all sounds so absurd, but I can't help but get confused sometimes.

Possible trigger:

The urge to self-harm has gotten strong, again. I'm thinking about it almost all of the time. If not that, other ways to hurt myself or self destruct.

I may be calling it too early, but I'm starting to think that I am falling into another one of my episodes no one seems to understand.

Possible trigger:

I could've sworn I was bleeding earlier. Every time I looked down there was blood. I thought, 'Okay, I could be dying.' And I was fine with it. Last night, my hand wasn't my own and I was told I had to cut it off. I almost did.

I'm not understanding what's happening. Someone, please help me understand.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m sending hugs if ok, I’m not an “expert”

I hope someone else can offer some ideas. I’m thinking of you my friend So leigheas

[Mopey]

Do you have medications you take for psychotic episodes, So?

I am sorry but I don't think anything can be done about this unless you actually improve yourself by not doing self harm.

About the original question, as complicated as medicine is, I don't think I, or for that matter anyone else, can tell you with the provided information. You could ask over the internet but it'll just give you some speculations.

[Mopey]

I wondered if So had prescribed medication, Chemist. Could that not be helpful, if so?

Originally Posted by Mopey

I wondered if So had prescribed medication, Chemist. Could that not be helpful, if so?

I've noticed So asks for help but according to So, there isn't much improvement at all.

Plus, you'd need to see a doctor to actually know what's wrong with you. There's no alternative.

As far as I know, there's no point in asking "what is it?" without going to a doctor. What if it worsens? And it's pretty obvious but I'll state anyway, online discussion websites are not meant for discussing life-threatening issues.

[Mopey]

I don't know, Chemist. Strictly speaking I suppose you're right, but in reality life-threatening issues seem to be pretty much what are discussed on this forum, despite the disclaimers.

Originally Posted by Mopey

I don't know, Chemist. Strictly speaking I suppose you're right, but in reality life-threatening issues seem to be pretty much what are discussed on this forum, despite the disclaimers.

Hmmmmmmmmmm I don't want to say you're wrong, but I don't think they should be posted here. I personally feel visiting an ethical professional is the best way to combat your illness. Of course we can use this forum as a journal or a support group, but that's it.

[Mopey]

It's an interesting subject, Chemist, because it's one of those times when the reality of things does not quite jibe with the written-down policies.

In any case, when I was asking if So had prescribed medication and was not taking it, I was assuming there were professionals in So's past. That may not be the case, but it would certainly be an obvious step based on So's past posts.

Obviously, if there are no expert diagnoses, and no professional prescriptions, the subject is moot.

It's an interesting subject, Chemist, because it's one of those times when the reality of things does not quite jibe with the written-down policies.

I know that quite well.

Thank you regardless for clearing the confusion.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Sò leigheas! Please try to hang on as much as you can, my friend! How are things going with your therapist? Is he/she helping you in any way? Is there any way you can contact him/her if you need it? You DO deserve to get help and support! Please stay safe and take GREAT care of yourself! This episode WILL pass! It won't last forever! I PROMISE YOU THAT! Just stay safe as much as you can, ok, my friend? If things get worse, please call an hotline or go to the nearest hospital as soon as you can! You deserve to be happy! You deserver to get better and to feel good! You deserve to live an happy, fulfilling life just like everyone else does! You deserve ALL of what I've just mentioned and MUCH, MUCH MORE because YOU'RE WONDERFUL, ok, my friend? PLEASE ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT! You don't deserve to suffer AT ALL! NOBODY deserves to suffer at all, especially such a caring, kind, STRONG, supportive, sweet, wise and wonderful friend and person like you! Please let me know if there's anything we can do SUPPORT you and to help tou get through all of this! Anything at all! Just mention it and we'll do our best! You KNOW you're loved here! Please try to reach out to a professional as soon as you can! YOU DESERVE TO LIVE! YOU MATTER YOU'RE WORTH IT! You're a WARRIOR, my friend, and you've always fought so many battles and you've ALWAYS came out on top! You WILL get on top of this one as well, Sò leigheas! I'm SURE of that! Just keep fighting and keep trying your best, Sò leigheas! That's all we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME YOU WANT! You KNOW I'll ALWAYS be here for you and that I'll never abandon you! You deserve ALL the love and support that you can get! Are there any friend or family members that may be available and that may help you? Anyone at all? Even just having a close friend or a family member to LISTEN to us can be VERY helpful! I'm sure you know that alread! Please try to reach out to ANYONE that may help you in any way, shape or form! We'll ALWAYS be here for you and we'll NEVER abandon you! We'll always have your back, especially when you're feelign down, Sò leigheas, my CARING, SWEET FRIEND! You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON and ALL THE WORLD needs to know it! Just show it to them, my friend! Just show them all that YOU CAN DO THIS and that YOU ARE STRONG, much STRONGER than everyone believes! Of course you have to do that for YOURSELF first before anyone else no matter what they may think of you, ok, my friend? You're WONDERFUL and you ARE LOVED! YOU MATTER! YOU'RE WORTH IT! YOU'RE AWESOME! YOU ROCK and YOU KNOW IT! We ALL know that! I'm sure you know that as well even if it's deep down inside of you! PLEASE ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Sò leigheas!

[MtnTime2896]

I haven't taken any psychiatric medication since February. I guess I don't really need any answers because I'm not willing to go back on anything.

[Mopey]

I understand these antipsychotic medications can have some pretty heavy-duty side effects, So, though I have no personal experience with them.

[Thirty shades]

((((Só leigheas))))