[(JD)]

I spent a few hours in chat this afternoon and finally decided (someone said it was 3:18pm) to get out of bed and go eat... and I did get off the net... but never left the house... and didn't eat.

Here I am still depressed and thinking I should go eat... it's 6:12pm
soon if I wait till 7pm maybe... then I'll take a hot bath then begin taking my night meds... then I'll just wait to go to sleep ... tv and net.... till it all begins again tomorrow.

someone said this is agitated depression. how can that be? isn't agitated where you are up and doing things? I feel like lead. And though I don't think I'm eating, I look like lead...

I've gained 12 lbs in 3 weeks... I think because of the Topamax but that's only my opinion which counts for naught.

But now when I try to go eat my one meal a day, the guilt of maybe gaining more weight is too much. Passive suicide.

I would rather go jump off a very high (but brightly, prettily lit) building. I just haven't decided which one. Maybe I can go out tonight if it doesn't rain and drive to Miami and choose one? Ah, but then there's the rub of figuring out how to find the roof nah if it's a hotel I'll just book a room one day...

any way, I digress...

sigh.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[dexter]

{{{{{{sky}}}}}}

Maybe your opinion seems to count for naught in the outside world but it is the only opinion that matters to the most important person in Miami.

A bath does sound nice... and if you feel like eating then eat, that's more important than the weight.

This may or may not be a good idea... but a drive might be a good idea to look at the prettily lit buildings and picture yourself standing next to them, yourself all prettily lit... i.e. maybe a little sightseeing would be something different, getting out might make you feel good?

I still like the bath idea though... I may do that myself. I have an electric bubbily thing for the tub if you want to borrow

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[Peanut61]

(((((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))))...

[q]I would rather go jump off a very high (but brightly, prettily lit) building. I just haven't decided which one. Maybe I can go out tonight if it doesn't rain and drive to Miami and choose one? Ah, but then there's the rub of figuring out how to find the roof nah if it's a hotel I'll just book a room one day...
[/q]



Fondly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[(JD)]

yeah... pick one out and get myself lit and then jump... yeah...

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

I felt like lead today, too, and acted like lead after a futile try to do something outside. Just gave up, came in and took a nap. (sigh!)

I've been where you are except for wanting to find a tall building to jump off of. You can't do that! It's not your call and you know it.

Maybe you should do as Dave says and go for a ride and see something different, smell something different that the four walls of your bedroom. Even mentally healthy people go nuts after staring at the same four walls all the time. If not tonight, then tomorrow during the day. Get out of town and see some countryside. Don't think about it, "Just Do It!"







<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[(JD)]

sigh.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

Oh, for Pete's sake! It's worth a try! Nothing else anyone could suggest would work, either.

You've got to at least make that jump a little more interesting. Make it a bit more complex so that "Horacio" (CSI: Miami) and his crew would have something to do. LOL

ARGH! I know this isn't what you want to hear.

How about writing your memoires? Maybe you'd get so sick of going through all that crap that you'd slam down your computer and go do something enjoyable. How about going shopping for a bubble thing for the bath tub like the one Dave has? Can you get into a bathtub? I can't! Maybe that's why I don't have one.

Sorry the hearts are red, but they just don't come in any other color.

<center></center>



<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[cleomaru]

you're probably gaining weight because you're depressed and hardly moving around. and agitated can mean,......... suicidal, it can mean anxious, it can mean anger, it can also mean physical agitation, like being jittery or not being able to sleep. the not eating thing is normal, for a deep depression, you should really give your doctor a call, if yo ucant get a hold of them, please call either the following number or 911

800 448 3000

"don't kick the puppy" ~ j.e.p.

[wisewoman]

Hey Sky, I have agitated depression to. Go figure. It's so hard to get up and eat and get a change of scenery but vital. Tomorrow make yourself get up and out before you get on the computer. Do something you used to enjoy even if you don't want to. It will get worse if you don't do a little thing each day to keep you connected, grounded. Eating? Don't ask me, try smoothies? remember to drink water. Tall buildings are not an option. Fell better.