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#1
Nov 14, 2020, 06:20 PM
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It’s been a long time since I posted in here.
The last few nights I’ve been getting some self destructive thoughts. Last night, was to start skipping meals again  Tonight to start skipping meds again. And well, it’s all downhill from here really.
Possible trigger:
I’ve been doing so well, and I’m terrified I’m about to throw that all away. But at the same time, I’m not sure I want to stop myself. There’s part of me that’s telling me I’m way overdue this self punishment and I guess I believe it..
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Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure. Failure - Breaking Benjamin Last edited by CANDC; Dec 22, 2020 at 04:44 PM. Reason: remove method of ending life |
 Fuzzybear, Rohag, T4bbyCat
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#2
Nov 15, 2020, 10:58 AM
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  Whisperingskye
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| whisperingskye
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#3
Nov 17, 2020, 02:41 PM
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Hello, Whisperingskye. Feel free to ignore the question: Is skipping meals a self-punitive end in itself, or does skipping meals help you skip taking meds?
I send my best wishes for a gentle resolution of the current crisis. 
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My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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| Fuzzybear, whisperingskye
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 Fuzzybear
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#4
Nov 20, 2020, 02:27 PM
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I struggle with stopping meds. I gag on meds, so it’s unpleasant physically and mentally. I can’t stay well without them though.
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
| whisperingskye
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#5
Nov 20, 2020, 02:36 PM
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I'll skip right over any posts about meds... since I am allergic to MANY of them.
I hope things get better for you soon. I often think of you. PM me any time 
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#6
Dec 11, 2020, 12:19 AM
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I wish I could stay ''well'' without having any contact with the ''professionals''.... and as said before.. meds are not an option.
 I was also called ''the worried well''.... oooh how some of those ''people'' love their labels. And another of them said I was ''not a well person''Their insults contradict each other    My apologies to those many professionals who care and do an adequate job, i wish there were more of those in this forest..... and if only they invent some MAGIC pill that I am not allergic to.....so ''fuzzy bear'' can be ''well'' (sorry about the grr in your thread) hugs and respect
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| whisperingskye
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#7
Dec 11, 2020, 12:25 AM
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How are things now friend? (only answer if ok) I'm sending gentle hugs
I think the self punishment thing comes from early trauma, abuse and neglect (I know it does for me ) I think you deserve good things (not punishment
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| whisperingskye
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#8
Dec 21, 2020, 10:01 PM
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Still thinking of you. I'm sending warm, positive vibes
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| whisperingskye
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#9
Dec 24, 2020, 08:14 PM
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Thank you fuzzy for continually trying to get a response out of me. I guess I posted this and then chose to ignore it.
You know, things have got pretty weird since this post. I broke up with my girlfriend, never saw that coming. I got covid. Slowly getting over that now. And my head is all over the bloody place. I wish I could say with certainty how I felt, but for now all I know is, I’m here, I’m breathing, and I’m safe. So that’s something I think 
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Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure. Failure - Breaking Benjamin |
| Rohag, SlumberKitty, TerryL
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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