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#1
Dec 13, 2007, 08:48 AM
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.....I don't need to sit in it....I'm very aware of myself being "up" at the moment. I'm also very aware that in a nanny seco I could be in that dark place...I'm very aware of a lot of fear within me and am taking it hour by hour in dealing with it...my natural tendency has been all my life to numb it with chemicals...I seem to be able to avoid that at this time....In the past I have accused others of denying their true feelings and only being upbeat and that would annoy me...but now I find myself in that place...I am aware of my inner pain but I do not want to let it take over my life...even if the up beat is slightly over the top, and maybe not really genuine...whats the crime?...I mean anyways who wants to see my misery...others have their own problems to be dealing with...I tell myself inside, the part that feels all the fear and darkness that I hear them...I know they're there...but life really has got to be lived the best way possible...I will listen to them but I am no longer going to be held hostage by them...anyone relate?
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#2
Dec 13, 2007, 10:45 AM
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yeah... sounds like you found a good place to rest awhile... and with any luck... never fall again.. but, for me, i say, only resting awhile...
i think as we come out of depression, these "kinder" periods last longer and are easier to return to... thats just my thoughts... |
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#3
Dec 13, 2007, 12:13 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Mouse_ said: and maybe not really genuine...whats the crime </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> That's the "crime". Why not be really genuine, warts and all. It's much more "comfortable", you don't have to think about it and compensate later in the other direction. Balance. That's the goal and I think it can only be attained by being genuine, responding to what is really there, not what we wish were there or even "need" to be there. It's like a checkbook. One doesn't treat either the "Bank error in your favor" (favorite Monopoly card :-) or the extra fees as if they don't matter. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> The bank credits your account for $1,000 more than you deposited. For once you've pulled that sweet Monopoly card in real life, "Bank error in your favor." Ka-ching! Despite the overwhelming justification for why the universe owes you this money, it's as untouchable as a spanking-new sports car with the keys in the ignition and the doors wide open. Give in to temptation and you could find yourself going straight to jail -- or at least being threatened with jail if you don't want to part with the ill-gotten gains. (From bankrate.com.) </div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#4
Dec 13, 2007, 01:23 PM
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Perna, I think you've got a valid point there. SOmething inside me is resisting though, like an elastic band that is being stretched and stretched...I know there's a dark hole just bubbling underneath, but I don't want to go there...this little voice inside is crying "dont make me go there"
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#5
Dec 13, 2007, 02:47 PM
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the "tar pit" bubbling underneath is a toddler's visual cliff http://encarta.msn.com/media_4615475...xperiment.html and not real.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#6
Dec 13, 2007, 06:19 PM
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> a toddler's visual cliff http://encarta.msn.com/media_4615475...xperiment.html and not real
Make us believe that!
__________________
Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#7
Dec 13, 2007, 06:48 PM
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You go right ahead and be however you need to be right now. We'll still love you.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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