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Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3
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#1
I’ve been really struggling for the past year and I don’t know what to do about it. I think I might have depression. I hate myself so much, every time something bad happens I convince myself it’s all my fault and everyone would be better off without me. I have really bad urges to hurt myself. I have before and it’s been better the past few weeks but it’s still there. Sometimes I think about ending my life. I feel really worthless and lonely. All I do all day is sleep, play video games or watch tv. If I have to do something it’s horrible and I feel like it’s the end of the world. I stay up all night and sleep into the after noon. Sometimes I go to bed really early and still wake up at like 2pm. Some days I don’t eat at all because I feel fat and want to loose weight. Other days I eat all day long. I’ve told my parents about a lot of this and i was in therapy for a little while. I’ve been diagnosed with social anxiety and I take medication for that. It’s supposed to help but it doesn’t and I feel like no one understands. There’s nothing really wrong with my life so I feel really guilty for being this way. I don’t know what to do. This is probably a stupid idea but i really don’t want to talk to my parents or my friends about it.
Last edited by atisketatasket; Jul 07, 2019 at 08:38 AM.. |
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Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
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#2
Hello winchestler: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. There's a sub-forum, here on PC, dedicated to the subject of social anxiety. Here's a link just in case you haven't already noticed it:
https://psychcentralforums.com/socia...ective-mutism/ And then here are links to a selection of 9 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that touch upon some of the concerns you raised: Depression: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings | Psych Central How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts Social Anxiety Overview | Psych Central https://psychcentral.com/eating-disorders/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/emoti...g-self-hatred/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-worthless/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/breaki...ds-of-badness/ https://psychcentral.com/guilt/ I hope you find PC to be of benefit. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, winchestler
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MickeyCheeky, winchestler
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
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#3
Hello & Welcome, Winchestler.
Feel free to ignore the questions. What was going on before you started struggling? Have you had a full medical workup including a complete blood count/panel? __________________ My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it. |
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Fuzzybear, winchestler
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MickeyCheeky, winchestler
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2015
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#4
You're not alone in how you feel. I suffer from server depression and self esteem issues. Much like you I have "No reason" for feeling this way, which doesn't help. I don't talk to family and friends about it because they won't get it so why bother. I just let them go on thinking everything is sunshine and rainbows. It seems like you're under a doctor's care if you're getting meds. Tell them about this. Let them know the medicine isn't working. Unfortunately beyond that I really don't have any helpful advice for you. Just know you're not alone and feeling the way you feel.
__________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
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Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 12
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#5
Yeah you are definitely not alone. I feel like you just described me to a T. I was just about to go lie down because I got some news that kind of shook me a bit, but I came on here instead. I'm glad I did. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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#6
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
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#7
There's no need to have a "reason" to be depressed, @winchestler If someone got sick with a disease, would you ask them the "reason" why they're sick? Sometimes there isn't and it doesn't make it any less valid. Try to see it this way. You are just as important and valuable as any other human beings. Please be kind to yourself. I'd suggest to be honest with your parents at least. Even though they may not fully understand your pain if they haven't been depressed themselves, you are their child and it is their duty to take care of you. I'm glad you're taking some meds but I do believe therapy is fundamental. Are you still seeing one or did therapy get interrupted? It can take time before finding the right match. Perhaps you can ask your Pdoc or your Doctors if they can refer you to a GOOD Therapist.Please don't give up your search and try to speak up to your parents. They're there to help you. Hopefully they'll understand and try their best to help you Feel free to PM me anytime about ANYTHING. I'm here for you. I'm sure everyone else on PC will also gladly listen to you. Please keep venting and writing. We understand your pain. Please don't you EVER give up hope. I hope things will get better soon for you. Hang in there, ok? Sending many safe, warm hugs to you and MANY positive vibes to you and your family, winchestler!
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New Member
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3
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#8
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